


Look to the Sun and You'll Come Undone.

by thesameoldfairytale



Series: Standing at the Point of No Return. [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Angst, Bittersweet (Temporary) Ending, Confusion, Consensual Sex, Domestic Fluff, Drinking Games, Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt, M/M, Mentioned suicide, New Year's Eve Party, Oral Sex, Otabek has a cat, Otabek is so confused, Pining, Rimming, Secrets, Swearing, awkwardness ensues, blowjob, discussion of suicide, forced confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-17 09:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 40,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10591407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesameoldfairytale/pseuds/thesameoldfairytale
Summary: In this story Yuri gets a belated Christmas present from Victor & Yuuri, while Otabek gets a lot more than he bargained for when he invites his friends around his place for a New Year's Eve party.





	1. Hit Me Like a Meteorite.

**Author's Note:**

> \- I will add more tags with the next chapters.  
> \- In accordance with the previous parts of this series, Yuri is 19 in this story, Otabek 23.  
> \- Not beta'd.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek struggles to define his feelings for Yuri while some disturbing memories keep haunting him relentlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- This was supposed to be a one-shot but it's already over 5K so I'm going to add another (perhaps even two more) chapter(s).  
> \- No mature content in this chapter. There will be lots of talk about sex in the next one though and other NSFW content later on.

It was early afternoon the day before New Year’s Eve when Otabek took one last look around his apartment, satisfied with its cleanliness, before he grabbed his black leather jacket and bolted out of the door. He wrapped his favourite navy blue scarf around his neck on his way downstairs to the entrance of his building where the taxi was already waiting for him. Since it was the end of December, it was freezing cold outside. Taking his motorcycle wasn’t really option, not to the deli around the corner and most certainly not along the motorway to the airport.

When the taxi finally arrived in front of the door with the ‘Arrivals’ sign, Otabek paid the driver and opened the door to get out. The biting cold hit him again and he pulled his scarf around him a little tighter on the short walk to the gate. Otabek was there to pick up Yuri, his best friend.

As soon as he was inside the airport, Otabek checked the screens showing the arrival times to see if Yuri’s flight was on time.

13:55     Moscow / SVO                                  SU1940                 Landed

14:05     **St. Petersburg** (Pulkovo)                   KC764                  On Approach

14:25     Seoul (Incheon)                                 KC910                  On Time

Yuri was almost there.

Otabek couldn’t stop himself from suddenly wondering if this had really been such a good idea after all. When Yuuri and Victor first approached him shortly before they parted ways in Vancouver, after the Grand Prix Final a few weeks earlier, this seemed like an amazing idea. Having Yuri visit him, even if it was just for a couple of nights over New Year’s, had been a _fantastic_ idea then. Now he wasn’t quite so sure anymore.

Yuri had been living with Victor and Yuuri for quite some time now but they didn’t really celebrate Christmas. With Victor’s birthday being on Christmas Day as well, Christmas itself just wasn’t a big deal for them but Yuri’s rink mates wanted to surprise him anyway. They wanted to send him to Almaty so he could celebrate New Year’s with Otabek. Of course Otabek had hurriedly expressed his excitement when they asked him if that was a surprise he wanted to be a part of. He couldn’t tell if he had still been on a high from actually winning the Grand Prix Final or if he had just been completely overpowered by the thought of seeing Yuri again before Four Continents. Either way, the anticipation had slowly been killing him since saying goodbye to Yuri in Vancouver and now sitting at the airport in Almaty to pick him up there.

Things were good between them, great even, but Otabek just couldn’t shake the feeling that Yuri was still feeling a little awkward around him. More often than not it felt like Yuri was trying too hard, trying to prove to him that his confusing dream really didn’t mean anything without actually saying so. When Yuri had told Otabek that he had been dreaming about him the night before his Short program at the Grand Prix Final, Otabek didn’t think much of it. He was having dreams about Yuri probably weekly. It was normal to him and nothing out of the extraordinary. The only difference apparently was that Yuri’s dream had been a little different than the ones Otabek was normally having about his best friend.

Ever since Otabek had asked Yuri to become his friend back in Barcelona four years earlier, their friendship had blossomed and only grown stronger over time. Their friendship was easy, without any real drama (apart from Yuri’s theatrical outbursts sometimes, although those were never directed at Otabek himself) and they just both seemed to enjoy being in each other’s lives. Yuri had quickly become one of the most important people in Otabek’s life but he had never really thought about Yuri possibly being more than his friend, at least not until he correctly guessed that Yuri’s one-time dream was apparently not child-friendly.

He had dismissed it then, even tried to convince Yuri that he wasn’t that surprised about it, considering how close they were, but the last few weeks had gotten Otabek thinking, and he was more confused than ever.

The screen announced that Yuri’s flight had landed now but Otabek would still have to kill a few minutes until Yuri was walking out of customs, so he sat down near the exit and got his phone out of his jeans pocket. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, looking down at his phone. Otabek lazily scrolled through Twitter and then Instagram, past many photos of his friends and fellow skaters enjoying the holidays, until he reached the photo Yuri had tagged him in shortly before he had boarded his flight in the morning.

The picture showed Yuri with Victor and Yuuri on either side of him embracing the blonde. Yuri didn’t look pleased in any way, his eyes rolled upwards while the older men were smiling widely and pressing kisses to his temples. Looking at the photo, Otabek could practically hear Yuri’s annoyed growl in his head. The caption underneath it though certainly proved that Yuri was most likely just pretending as he so often was when it came to his rink mates.

 **yuri-plisetsky:** _These two idiots are sending me to Almaty for New Year’s… @otabek-altin, I’m going to kick your ass when I get there for keeping this a secret! Hope you’re ready… #xmassurprise #thanksoldman #thankskatsudon #letsparty_

Otabek was still looking down and grinning at the photo on his phone when he noticed two feet dressed in black and leopard print shoes standing right in front of him.

“What are you grinning at, idiot?” Yuri’s voice literally came crushing down on him.

Raising his head then, he found Yuri standing in front of him, his shiny blonde hair in a long elaborate braid flung over one shoulder, a pair of tight black jeans hung low on his hips, a simple black sweatshirt pressed tightly around his upper body, and his signature black and leopard print jacket, that matched his shoes, unzipped.

Otabek held up his phone to show the photo he had been looking at, but he didn’t say a word. Yuri just rolled his eyes in response before he said, “Get up and turn around.”

His eyebrows quickly furrowing, Otabek did get up from his seat but he didn’t dare turn around. “Why?”

“So I can kick your ass,” Yuri shot back only to then launch forward to throw his arms around Otabek’s neck.

They just stood there, embracing each other, for a minute and to Otabek it felt as normal, and as _good_ , as it always did. Strangely enough, Yuri in his arms was all Otabek needed to throw all of his doubts overboard. This had been an incredible idea after all.

Eventually Otabek pulled back but only as far as he had to so he could look at Yuri’s face. They’ve stood like that on so many occasions in the past, seeing each other for the first time after months apart or reluctantly saying goodbye when they had to go their separate ways again. In airports, in restaurants, in hotel lobbies, in arenas, they’ve stood like this hundreds of times, and it was the best and worst feeling at the same time.

“It’s good to see your face,” Otabek said, letting his hand slide over Yuri’s beautiful braid.

Yuri promptly replied with another eyeroll. “You always say that, Beka. Plus it’s been less than three weeks this time.”

“I know,” Otabek admitted. “It’s still true though.”

Otabek couldn’t help but look at Yuri’s face more closely, like he was seeing it for the very first time and in a way that was exactly what it felt like to him. His eyes wandered from Yuri’s smooth forehead to his small and elegant nose, over his beautifully defined cheekbones and pale skin to his perfect-looking lips where his gaze stopped and he just stared unconsciously. Otabek didn’t notice how Yuri started blushing until the younger man wiggled out of his embrace and pushed him back gently.

“Stop staring, idiot,” Yuri growled almost playfully, “and let’s get out of here. I’m freezing and I want to see Ginger.”

Shaking his head slightly, Otabek watched Yuri walk away a few steps out of the airport. Of course, seeing his cat was usually Yuri’s most important priority when he came to visit.

* * *

Back at Otabek’s apartment, Yuri hurriedly took of his shoes and his jacket before he turned around to look at Otabek expectedly.

“Where is she?” he asked, a sparkle in his eyes that Otabek came to associate with pure joy. It was rare that Yuri was so easy to read but when it came to his cat, or any cat for that matter, Yuri voluntarily dropped his mask.

“She was in your room when I left,” Otabek informed him, taking off his own shoes and jacket, and placing both, and Yuri’s, by the wardrobe near the door.

“My room, huh?” Yuri teased, one eyebrow raised but before Otabek could reply he was already making his way through the apartment to find Ginger.

Otabek’s apartment wasn’t excessively big but it wasn’t small either. It was pretty perfect actually. His grandfather had died when he was only five years old but Otabek didn’t find out that he had left a more than decent amount of money to Otabek and his siblings until he turned eighteen. With the money cashing in an impressionable amount in interest over a period of almost thirteen years, Otabek used the money to buy his own place. He originally wanted to spend it on a new motorcycle but he figured his parents would be more pleased if he did something sensible with the money. In the end, he had to admit that getting this apartment was indeed the right move, literally.

The massive open-plan kitchen with the attached living room provided the centre of the apartment, a place for him to relax after a long day at practice or for hosting the occasional party, like he would be doing the next day. There was a generous storage space by the entrance door that hid the washing machine and dryer out of sight. There was a small bathroom for guests and a bigger one attached to the master bedroom. Otabek would never deny that his bathtub was by far his favourite feature of the apartment. There was nothing that would ever compare to a hot bath after practice to soothe his aching muscles. It always felt like floating on a cloud. The apartment also had a second bedroom but it served many more purposes than just providing another place to sleep. There was a comfortable two-seater sofa in there, a massive bookshelf wrapped around one corner of the room, his mixing desk where Otabek remixed his own and other people’s music, and of course his piano, his most prized possession.

It was that room Otabek stood in now, watching Yuri kneel down on the pull-out sofa with Ginger spinning rounds around him, rubbing herself and her head against Yuri’s legs. Ginger meowed loudly when she put her front legs on Yuri’s and lifted herself up, begging Yuri to pick her up, which he did. Yuri held her like a baby, one hand holding her steady underneath her bum, the other on her back while Ginger almost threw her front legs over his shoulders. She purred audibly and had her eyes closed, clearly enjoying Yuri’s fingers brushing over her fur.

Seeing Ginger so affectionate with Yuri was always quite the sight. Otabek was a tiny bit jealous because Ginger was so rarely as comfortable and attention-seeking with him as she was with Yuri, but mostly seeing the two of them like this turned his heart into a puddle of goo. It was beyond precious.

“Are you sure she’s not a dog?” Yuri then asked out of the blue, still holding Ginger tightly to his chest.

“Why? She’s only like that when you’re around,” Otabek said laughing, but he could definitely see where Yuri was coming from with that question.

“That should tell you a lot, Beka,” Yuri teased in return, winking at him.

“I think she knew you were coming,” Otabek then said, before silently adding _‘because I told her a million times’_ in his mind.

Yuri just smiled at him, and Otabek realised he was in trouble. He definitely was in trouble, he just didn’t know yet in how _much_ trouble.

* * *

They soon got changed into more comfortable clothes consisting mainly of sweatpants and loose t-shirts, and then spent a couple of hours chatting idly and drinking tea (black for Yuri, with milk and honey for Otabek) on one of the sofas in the living room, the television providing background noise as usual.

The L-shaped couch allowed Otabek to sit comfortably leaned back against the back of the couch whilst stretching his legs out, crossing them by the ankles. Yuri was sitting cross-legged close to him, closer than strictly necessary considering that the sofa they sat on was pretty big and there even was another couch, but Otabek didn’t mind at all. It was nice having Yuri so close. They’ve always been very comfortable with touching each other, and they weren’t even touching right now, but Otabek felt a tinge of anxiety inside him that he couldn’t quite explain.

Ginger was sitting in Yuri’s lap, her head resting on his knee while Yuri’s fingers absent-mindedly stroked through her orange fur, over and over again. Yuri was staring at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and Otabek couldn’t blame him. She was beautiful, but so was Yuri.

When Otabek realised what he was thinking, he quickly looked away from both of them, trying to distract himself. He cleared his throat, hoping that Yuri didn’t think it was as suspicious as it probably came across.

“What do you want to do for dinner?” Otabek finally asked, already putting his feet on the ground ready to get up.

“Well,” Yuri began, “we’re definitely not leaving the apartment.”

Otabek frowned questioningly for a moment, wondering why Yuri was so adamant about staying in. “Why?”

“It’s fucking freezing outside, Beka, and we’re already in sweatpants,” Yuri said in a way that implied that the cold was reason enough to stay where they were. “Also, I can’t move,” he added looking down at Ginger.

Laughing quietly, Otabek got up to get his phone that he had left on the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen earlier. He could feel Yuri’s eyes following him and he tried his best to ignore it.

“Take-out it is then,” he announced eventually, grabbing his phone and returning to the couch. “What are you in the mood for?”

Yuri shrugged his shoulders and it seemed genuine. “You decide.”

Otabek knew that Yuri was a terrible decision maker. Most of the time he said he didn’t care, when he actually did have something specific in mind, but more often than not he just didn’t voice it out loud. This time though, Yuri really did seem to not really have an opinion one way or another.

“How about pizza?” Otabek asked, already scrolling through his phone to find the app for his favourite pizza place.

“Hm,” Yuri mumbled. He tipped his index finger to his chin, clearly pretending to think about Otabek’s suggestion. “Garlic bread? Jalapeño poppers? Hot sauce?”

Otabek only held up his phone, showing that he had already added all of those thing to the basket on the app.

“Alright then,” Yuri finally agreed. “But only from that one place by that weird looking church,” he added quickly, grabbing Otabek’s phone to check if he was ordering from that specific place.

“I know, Yura,” Otabek sighed and then grinned when he snatched his phone back. “Same pizza as always?”

Yuri only nodded but he smiled and Otabek thought his lungs stopped working for a second or two. What was going on with him? He was just ordering pizza for them, and that suddenly made him lose his cool when Yuri smiled at him. This was not normal.

Otabek quickly completed their pizza order on the app and then stood up again, desperate to clear his mind.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he said since he couldn’t quite disappear without saying anything.

Feeling his heart race and his skin hot, Otabek was starting to panic. He had no idea what was going on. The last time he felt like this, he was seventeen, and just the memory of that made him sick to his stomach. It wasn’t the time or the place for any of that. Those weren’t thoughts he wanted to mull over, not now, not ever again.

Otabek found himself sitting in front of his piano, the pull-out couch where Yuri would be sleeping while he was visiting, already made up right behind him. He needed to get rid of all the haunted memories in his head, needed to ignore and burn them but Otabek knew he was fighting a battle he would always end up losing. He would never truly be able to let go, he could only look ahead and he was determined to do just that. In order to do that he had to focus on the here and now, and that happened to be Yuri, Ginger and the pizza that was on the way.

Slowly sliding his fingers over the piano keys, Otabek barely noticed when he started playing. The song played in his head before the sound of the piano reached his ears. He knew the song by heart, had played it so many times over the years. It was one of the first ones he had ever composed and written lyrics for. Writing wasn’t really his strong suit but it was therapeutic, something reliable he could always count on. Otabek could hear his friend Asel’s voice clearly in his head, the lyrics so beautifully brought to life by her angelic voice.

“That was beautiful, Beka,” Yuri suddenly spoke up when Otabek played the last note, and he immediately turned around on the small piano bench.

“Thanks,” he choked out, more surprised than anything. He hadn’t heard Yuri come in.

Looking at Yuri right there, his face so innocent and unexpecting, was heart-breaking and Otabek just wondered again how he deserved someone like Yuri. There was nothing in the world he wouldn’t do for him and that thought scared Otabek immensely.

“Did you write lyrics for this one?” Yuri asked.

Otabek smiled weakly at him. There were so many things Yuri didn’t know about him and he wanted to tell him all of it, he just didn’t know how.

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “Asel recorded them.”

“Asel can sing?” Yuri asked laughing.

“Do you want to hear it?” Otabek asked, and immediately wanted to slap himself. He shouldn’t be doing this. He was only making it worse for himself, but Yuri nodded enthusiastically and Otabek got up to search the shelves above his mixing desk for the CD with the recording.

“Are you ok, Beka?” Yuri wondered out loud, his voice small and concerned.

Otabek was caught off guard. “Sure,” he just said and continued looking for the CD.

“What is the song about?” Yuri continued his questioning, and Otabek definitely knew now that this was a mistake, but he couldn’t back out anymore.

“I wrote this about a friend,” Otabek began, trying to find a way to explain what this was really about, “who committed suicide.”

He pressed play before Yuri had a chance to say anything. Otabek sat down on the bed, Yuri next to him and their legs touching. He wanted to say so many things to Yuri then but none of them seemed important. Convinced that Yuri would understand everything he needed to know from the song, Otabek kept his mouth shut. He didn’t dare to look up at Yuri either, instead just fumbled with his hands in his lap.

Half-way through the song Yuri suddenly put his arm over Otabek’s shoulder and pulled him to the side a little. Yuri pressed his lips to Otabek’s temple and reached out for his hands. Resting his head on Yuri’s shoulder, Otabek just closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking altogether. He soon realised that that was a pretty difficult thing to do when Yuri was so close.

The song ended and as if on cue, the doorbell rang.

Otabek pulled himself up again and smiled at Yuri. He needed to get his shit together one way or the other. Perhaps dinner would be a good opportunity to do just that.

“Grab some plates and whatever you want to drink. I’ll get the pizza,” Otabek said to Yuri before he made his way to the apartment door.

He watched Yuri walk into the kitchen and sighed loudly. Opening the door a second later, Otabek put on one of his more stoic facial expressions. He recognised the delivery guy, not by name but he had certainly seen his face at the pizza place before. The guy handed Otabek two massive pizza cartons and a bag full with all the other stuff Yuri had ordered. Otabek sat everything down on the small dresser in the hallway so he could get his wallet from his jacket that was hanging on the wardrobe.

He was counting his money when the delivery guy spoke up out of nowhere.

“Is your weird Russian friend here?” he asked curiously and Otabek didn’t really understand how that guy could possibly know that.

“Yeah…,” Otabek said but it sounded more like a question as he was dragging out every letter of the word for much longer than it was necessary.

Apparently the huge imaginary question mark above his head was shining brightly because the delivery guy had mercy on him, and actually explained himself.

“He’s the only person who has ever ordered a pizza with those toppings,” the guy said, and then winked at Otabek when he handed him the money for the food.

Otabek couldn’t help but laugh out loud once the door was closed again. He grabbed their pizzas and Yuri’s extras, and walked back into the living room. Dropping everything on the coffee table, he immediately walked back to the kitchen. He leaned against the kitchen counter while Yuri was looking through the fridge for something to drink. Otabek patiently waited until Yuri noticed him, although the smirk on his lips was impossible to hide.

“What are you staring at?” Yuri asked without actually turning to face Otabek.

“The delivery guy just asked me if my, and I quote, ‘weird Russian friend’ is here,” Otabek chuckled, pleased with himself when Yuri slammed the fridge door shut and spun around to look at him.

“What?”

“Apparently your pizza toppings are quite memorable,” Otabek explained, his grin only growing wider the longer he looks at Yuri’s appalled face.

“Pffft,” Yuri huffed and then stalked back to the couch. “There is nothing wrong with ham, pineapple, cheese, avocado and kimchi,” he defended himself and his pizza toppings.

Otabek picked up Ginger from where she was sitting in his spot and placed her gently on the floor, before he sat down next to Yuri. “Yura, all that tells me is that you clearly spent too much time with Katsuki in Japan, but even you have to admit that the kimchi is a bit too much,” he said, and then took a piece of his own pizza (steak, red pepper, olives, feta cheese).

“It’s not,” Yuri replied, biting happily into a slice of his unusual concoction.

Snatching one of the water bottles Yuri had taken out of the fridge, Otabek took a sip. The ice-cold water running down his throat felt incredible, calming even, his skin and his thoughts suddenly pleasantly at ease.

“You don’t want a beer or anything?” Otabek asked then, a little surprised that Yuri went for the water and not for any alcohol.

Swallowing some jalapeño poppers, Yuri grabbed his own bottle and gulped half of it in one go. “Well,” he said, taking another sip, “I assume there’ll be more than enough alcohol tomorrow, right?”

“Oh,” Otabek exclaimed, remembering that Yuri had no idea what they would be doing for New Year’s Eve the next day, “that reminds me. I invited the twins, Maxim, Temir and the girls over here for a small party tomorrow night. Is that alright with you? I can still cancel if you’d rather do something else.” As Otabek said those words, he was surprised, perhaps even shocked, at himself that he seemed to wish for Yuri to say no to all of this.

“No, that’s cool,” Yuri said instead, taking another bite of his pizza. “The asshole is going to regret the day he challenged me to a drinking game.”

Otabek laughed at him. He knew exactly who Yuri was talking about. Otabek remembered that drinking game, and the rather unpretty consequences very well, and Otabek had a feeling that Temir really would regret the day he got Yuri drunk the last time the Russian visited.

“So when did Katsuki and Victor tell you about your surprise?” Otabek asked curiously then, changing topics. He was sure the next day would be crazy enough. There was no need to hypothesize about it right then.

“When they pressed the boarding pass into my hand before I went through security,” Yuri informed him, rolling his eyes. “When did they tell you?”

Otabek couldn’t help but smile at that. Victor and Yuuri didn’t tell him they would buy Yuri a plane ticket to go to Almaty, they had asked him if he actually wanted to see Yuri.

“Right before you guys left Vancouver,” Otabek eventually admitted.

Yuri almost spit out his pizza. “What? How could you keep this from me for almost three weeks?”

“If I had told you, it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” Otabek just said, shrugging his shoulders.

Nudging Otabek’s shoulder, Yuri smiled at him, defeated.

They finished their dinner, chatting about anything and nothing for a little while. Yuri complained about his daily life with Victor and Yuuri, and Otabek talked about his struggles with the pressure he was under after winning gold at the Grand Prix Final. It was so normal and comforting that it almost felt like they spend every other day together, instead of sometimes having to go six months without seeing each other. Their friendship was so easy and strong when they were actually together, yet it could be just as difficult and fragile to keep it that way when they were apart.

Once they were dinner, the half-eaten pizzas long forgotten in their boxes, Otabek put on some fancy German arthouse film on Netflix. He didn’t know if it was the subtitles that put Yuri to sleep or just the fact that he was absolutely knackered from getting up so early and being stuck on a plane for five hours.

When Otabek noticed that Yuri’s eyes were indeed closed, his breathing even, he put one of the soft blankets over Yuri’s slim body. Ginger immediately curled up next to him, bathing in Yuri’s body heat.

Otabek kept watching the film for a little while but soon enough decided to clean up instead. He took all the boxes and bags to the kitchen, stored the left-over pizza and garlic bread in the fridge, as quietly as he could. Otabek had barely closed the fridge door when he heard Yuri mumbling frantically in his sleep.

By the time he was by Yuri’s side and kneeling on the floor next to him, Ginger had already made herself comfortable where Otabek sat before. She looked angrily at him, like Yuri was disturbing her sleep. He dismissed her quickly but he wasn’t sure what to do about Yuri.

With one arm over his eyes, Yuri was half-turning from one side to the other, his legs getting more and more tangled in the blanket Otabek had covered him with.

“Don’t go,” Yuri sighed but he was still completely out of it. Otabek had no idea who he was talking to or what he was dreaming about but judging by the way his body reacted so violently, it wasn’t a pleasant dream.

“Beka,” Yuri then said, and Otabek automatically held his breath. “Please stay,” Yuri continued and his voice sounded so heart-broken, so desperate. It was incredibly hard to hear for Otabek. Yuri had admitted to him once that he doesn’t want to lose him, but they had talked about it and Otabek thought he had convinced Yuri that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would be there for him for as long as Yuri wanted that. Hearing Yuri practically beg him not to leave him, made him wonder if Yuri was still scared of something coming between them.

Otabek desperately wanted hear what else Yuri might say, but he couldn’t stand looking at his friend like this. He carefully pulled Yuri’s arm back from his own eyes, and then put a hand on the side of Yuri’s face, carefully pushing back a few strands of loose hair the way he had done so many times before. Stroking Yuri’s hair seemed to do the trick because Yuri soon calmed down, his body completely still and relaxed. The younger man leaned into Otabek’s touch and sighed contently.

Not wanting to leave Yuri on the couch in case he the dream would reappear, Otabek carefully picked him up and took him to the guest bedroom. Yuri was Otabek’s height now but he was still as slim and lithe as he had always been.

When Otabek stood in front of the guest bedroom, Yuri in his arms and curling into his chest, he briefly debated whether or not he should just take Yuri to the master bedroom instead. He really didn’t want to leave him on his own. Ultimately Otabek walked into the guest bedroom and carefully put Yuri down on the pulled-out sofa. Yuri quietly, and unconsciously, whined a little when Otabek let go of him, and it was a sound Otabek never ever wanted to hear again. It was unbearable.

Otabek sighed deeply, weighing his options carefully. If he were to lie down next to Yuri and they would end up in yet another slightly compromising position when they woke up (because that happened before, only that Yuri thought that Otabek had been asleep then and didn’t know… but he did), it would get awkward again between them. On the other hand, he just really didn’t want to leave Yuri alone, plus he could just tell Yuri that he fell asleep making sure that he was okay.

It would be ok somehow, Otabek told himself before he climbed onto the sofa as well, lying right next to Yuri and facing him. He couldn’t hold back and almost immediately reached out to stroke Yuri’s hair again, which the blonde seemed to welcome. Yuri still appeared to be asleep, but he pushed himself forward to close that gap between him and Otabek, before he put an arm around Otabek’s waist and tangled their legs together. They were lying there, chest to chest, Yuri’s head tucked under Otabek’s chin and his face nuzzled into Otabek’s chest, and Otabek momentarily lost all of his brain functions.

His hands were hanging in the air because he didn’t quite understand what Yuri was doing. Once Yuri seemed to have settled and his breathing had evened out again, Otabek just gave up. There was no way he could get out of Yuri’s embrace now without waking him and that was the last thing he wanted to do, not just because it would be followed by an awkward conversation they both didn’t want to have, but mainly because having Yuri this close made his heart skip a beat.

Otabek couldn’t help but wonder how something that felt so incredibly right, could feel so incredibly wrong at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Otabek is playing in this chapter does exist. Not going to reveal yet what it is because it will come up again later when Yuri finds out a little more about the backstory of the song. 
> 
> Otabek's friends are definitely shaking things up in the next chapter. ;)


	2. Show Me Where the Wild Things are.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek's friends join him and Yuri for a New Year's Eve party. Some people soon find out that certain secrets are probably best kept hidden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no idea why I ever thought that this story could be a one-shot. This chapter is over 7K and I'm far from where I want this story to be, so yeah, there will be another chapter.
> 
> There is a bit of talk about sex in this chapter but it will be even more in the next one, plus some other NSFW content.

Behind his closed eyelids, Otabek could feel the sunshine coming through the massive floor-to-the-ceiling windows. He was facing the window and the balcony behind it, still fairly deep in slumber and too exhausted to even lift a finger. The duvet was somehow draped half-way up his body, covering his legs and lower torso. It was warm and comfortable and the sunshine didn’t make it seem like the last day of December.

Otabek was about to pull the duvet up to his nose when he felt someone gently judge his shoulder, and suddenly Otabek remembered where he was. He wasn’t in his own bed, thinking about it now it made sense since his own bed was facing the opposite wall. Still half in trance, Otabek realised it must have been Yuri trying to get his attention.

Half-asleep and with his eyes still mostly closed, Otabek turned around on the bed. He buried both of his hands under his head and only opened his eyes when he heard Ginger purring. There was Yuri, one arm propped up on his elbow and his head resting in his hand, the other one idly running through Ginger’s fur. The little cat was curled up between them and clearly enjoying the early morning cuddles.

“I have two questions,” Yuri said smiling.

“Shoot,” Otabek mumbled in response before closing his eyes again. He was too cosy to even attempt to not enjoy this.

“When did I get into bed?” Yuri asked, but he didn’t sound offended or alarmed, just genuinely curious.

Otabek suddenly yawned, every move of his body too much to handle. Once he had settled comfortably again, he looked at Yuri and replied.

“You fell asleep in the living room so I carried you here,” he said like it was absolutely nothing, which it technically wasn’t, so he didn’t quite understand why Yuri seemed to be blushing a little. “I hope that was ok,” he added quickly, assuming that Yuri’s red cheeks were probably caused by embarrassment.

Yuri’s lips immediately curved up, his smile directed at Otabek apparently but his eyes were on Ginger. “Of course,” he just said.

“What’s your other question?” Otabek wondered and asked.

Yuri looked up again and Otabek thought he saw hesitation on his face, and that was enough to send Otabek’s mind into overdrive again. Did he do something in his sleep? Did he say something while he dreamt? Did Yuri hear something? Yuri had clearly been awake before he woke up, so what if he said something Yuri heard and he couldn’t even remember it?

“Why are you here in bed with me?” Yuri eventually asked, his voice small.

He didn’t know why but Otabek was surprised that there was no judgement or any sign of discomfort in that question. Yuri clearly didn’t mind that he had spent the night in his bed. Otabek just wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, or if it meant anything at all.

“You had a nightmare while you were sleeping on the couch,” he explained and reached out to push a few strands of hair out of Yuri’s face. “I didn’t want to leave you alone,” Otabek admitted and quickly pulled his hand back.

He started stroking Ginger behind her ear. There was tension hanging in the air but neither Otabek nor Yuri said anything for a few moments. They were both just showering Ginger with attention.

“Thanks,” Yuri eventually mumbled and Otabek looked up at him, “for staying with me.”

Otabek just smiled in response. Looking at Yuri, into his insanely beautiful blue-green eyes, was a dangerous thing to do. Otabek knew that it was so easy to get lost in them and once he did, it would be almost impossible to find the way back. Trying to stay out of the crystal maze that was Yuri’s intense stare, Otabek barely noticed that Yuri’s little finger was touching his.

When he did feel Yuri’s warm skin almost burning his, Otabek thought about it only for a fraction of a second before he pulled his hand back. He turned over on his back, staring at the ceiling.

Where the tension was bearable, perhaps even close to somewhat okay before, it was now nothing but awkward. Otabek didn’t know what to do or even say to Yuri. His mind was too far gone to think about any of this properly. It was messing with his head and he hated it.

“What time is everyone getting here tonight?” Yuri asked suddenly, his voice as normal as it could possibly be, which made everything even more confusing for Otabek.

“7 o’clock,” he answered without looking away from the ceiling.

“Alright then,” Yuri said and stood up. “I’m going to take a shower.” With that Yuri disappeared out of the room, leaving Otabek and Ginger behind.

Otabek remembered how Yuri had been behaving so strangely in Vancouver and how much it had upset him that Yuri was avoiding him them, even cutting practice short just so he didn’t have to be in the same room as him. Remembering those couple of awful days made Otabek’s stomach curl. He had given Yuri so much grief for letting his messed-up thoughts get between them and now he was close to doing the same. If anything, Otabek knew he needed to pull himself together, otherwise this party was going to be one hell of a nightmare.

* * * 

At some point around lunch time Otabek and Yuri wrapped up in some of the warmest clothes they had, pulled the cosiest winter hats over their heads and flung the longest and biggest scarves they could find around their necks. The cold was insufferable, instantly biting its way through all the layers they had put on but they didn’t really have a choice. They needed to do some shopping for the party.

“Why didn’t you do this before I got here?” Yuri whined half-way to the store, burying his gloved hands even deeper in his jacket’s pocket.

“Because,” Otabek began and then raised his head up a little out of his scarf so Yuri would actually be able to understand what he was saying, “I wanted you to suffer with me.”

Yuri bumped his elbow gently into Otabek’s side, pretending to be grumpy but his lit-up face gave him away. Being on the receiving end of one of Yuri’s smiles is certainly a force to be reckoned with. It always gave Otabek a sense of power, the kind that made people think they could conquer the world. It was a frightening thing to feel but something Otabek had grown to love.

“Misery loves your company, huh?” Yuri then said, another smirk playing around his lips.

“Pretty much,” Otabek replied before he threw an arm over Yuri’s shoulder and pulled him in for a hug in the middle of the sidewalk. He could feel Yuri’s warm breath on his earlobe, the only place that was not covered in fabric and it made his heart jump through loops.

“I’m honoured to ease your suffering,” Yuri mumbled into Otabek’s neck, pulling him closer, at least Otabek thought he did. It was hard to tell through all the thick clothes they were both wrapped up in.

“Your concern for me is touching, Yura,” he replied and then let go of his friend.

Before Otabek could pull back completely Yuri pressed his cold lips to his cheek, only for a second but it left him completely dazed. “Always,” Yuri said and winked at him, then turned around and continued to walk towards the store.

If he hadn’t considered the possibility before, he definitely did now. Whatever he was feeling for Yuri definitely was not just platonic. There was something else lingering underneath the surface. He just had to figure out what that was.

By the time Otabek somehow managed to get himself out of his haze, Yuri was about to walk into the store. Otabek saw him by the entrance door, looking at him expectedly.

“Come on, idiot. We have booze to buy,” Yuri said cheerily and then went inside the shop.

A few minutes later they found themselves in front of a few massive shelves displaying God knows how many different types of spirits. Beer was already in their basket, certainly not enough for a group of eight but since everyone was bringing something, it would be enough. Otabek was looking for something very specific, something he knew none of his friends liked and therefore wouldn’t steal from him. He spotted the bottle fairly quickly and reached up the shelf to get it.

“Oh come on, Beka,” Yuri sighed when he saw which bottle Otabek had picked out. “This fruity shit again?”

It wasn’t really fruity but Otabek kind of saw Yuri’s point. Regardless though, there was nothing better in the world than German peach schnapps. Granted Kazakh people, much like Russians, were vodka drinkers through and through but ever since Otabek had tasted the peach drink, it was his go-to one.

“What?” he asked, masking offence, “I like this stuff.”

Yuri just shook his head and then stepped forward to quietly place the bottle he had picked out in the basket Otabek was holding. The bottle didn’t look like the usual vodka either, so Otabek took it out again and had a closer look at it.

“Really?” he asked, one eyebrow raised at Yuri, “tequila? And apparently the cheapest at that?”

“I want to get drunk, Beka. The cheaper, the better,” Yuri simply explained, shrugging his shoulders before he grabbed the bottle out of Otabek’s hand and put it back in the basket.

“But you hate tequila,” Otabek insisted while they lazily strolled through the store to pick up some snacks.

Yuri grabbed a few bags of crisps and various dips before he turned around again. “Since when?” he asked teasingly and Otabek didn’t know what to reply. He realised he had never actually seen Yuri drink tequila and he couldn’t quite remember them ever talking about it either. When Otabek stayed quiet, Yuri continued. “The gold one is better but they were out,” he explained as if he had been drinking tequila for years.

They picked out a few more snacks and they also did get a couple of bottles of vodka (just in case) before they went to the check-out. Otabek was at a point where he really just wanted to be back in his warm apartment, preferably with a cup of hot tea and a bloody blanket wrapped around him. He was used to the cold but that definitely didn’t mean that he liked it.

* * *

Back at the apartment, Otabek and Yuri spent the remaining time until the others would get there in the evening with videogames, bad television shows and Ginger, who provided endless hours of entertainment. Otabek made pasta for dinner, which Yuri gratefully shovelled down.

The alcohol was stored in the fridge, the apartment fairly clean, there were a total of twenty-four shot glasses already lined up on the bar and Otabek had also set up a few playlists they would be listening to later.

Otabek didn’t think he had much of a fashion sense but no one had ever complained or made rude remarks about his outfits, so once he stepped out of the shower for the second time that day, he picked out the first thing he saw in his wardrobe and threw it on.

“Yura,” he shouted through the apartment, “the shower is all yours.”

With the ripped black jeans already hanging low on his hips, Otabek pulled a loose shirt with big horizontal stripes in a dark grey and burgundy over his head. When his eyes were free again, he saw Yuri by the bathroom door. The only way to get to the bathroom with the bathtub and shower was through the master bedroom, so Otabek wasn’t completely surprised to find Yuri there. There were two other things that did surprise him though.

First, Yuri was staring at him, more specifically at his chest, which probably meant that Yuri had been standing there already before Otabek put his shirt on. Second of all, Otabek was staring back at Yuri with his lips slightly parted and probably perfectly mirroring Yuri’s facial expression. He was staring back because Yuri had already undressed himself, except for his trousers, and stood there like a wet dream come alive. There was absolutely no way Otabek could not stare at Yuri’s smooth chest, his stunningly pale but gorgeous skin, and his wild mane flowing over his shoulders like a golden waterfall. Otabek’s eyes were scanning Yuri’s body like they would need the information later on to save his life. It wasn’t the first time they had seen each other semi-naked but it was nevertheless the first time Otabek consciously thought that Yuri was just so ridiculously beautiful.

Otabek didn’t see how Yuri smirked at him because he was just so distracted by everything else about him. Just when Yuri turned around and wordlessly stepped into the bathroom, did Otabek have a chance to breathe again. He hadn’t even noticed that he was holding his breath but Yuri had apparently managed to literally punch the air out of lungs, and he hadn’t even said anything.

Momentarily forgetting what he had actually been doing, Otabek then closed the wardrobe doors and went into the kitchen. He tried to distract himself with anything that would hopefully put his mind back on track. He realised once more that he was in trouble, or rather that _Yuri_ was trouble.

A little while later Yuri walked into the kitchen. His hair was still wet but he was dressed, thankfully. He had put on a pair of tight leopard print trousers that only went half-way down his calves, and a light long-sleeved beige coloured shirt with a huge cat face covering almost the entire front. It was just so Yuri and Otabek didn’t expect anything less or else.

“Where’s your hairdryer?” Yuri enquired, rubbing a towel over his head.

“Second drawer to the left in the bathroom,” Otabek replied quickly.

Yuri thanked him just as quickly and then left the room again.

Drying his hair took Yuri quite some time, which was actually a good opportunity for Otabek to calm his nerves. He did some last-minute party preparations by getting out some bowls for the snacks they bought earlier, and placing some proper pint-sized glasses on the bar next to the shot glasses. He had no idea when or how he acquired so many shot glasses over the years but it came in handy now, so he wasn’t complaining.

By the time Yuri reappeared his hair was pulled up in a messy bun, strands of hair falling out of it here and there but he still managed to make it look it was all done on purpose. Otabek couldn’t help himself but think of how his fingers always felt when he let them run through Yuri’s long hair. He was staring again and only stopped when Yuri cleared his throat, at which point Otabek noticed the black choker necklace Yuri was wearing, and damn, it made everything just so much worse.

Once Otabek had found a way to control his heartbeat and his breathing, they made themselves comfortable on the couch once more to kill the last half hour or so before the others were expected to get there.

Otabek sat in his usual spot with his back against the couch and legs stretched out, crossed by the ankle. Yuri was playing with Ginger for a few minutes until she seemed to get a bit tired. He picked her up and lifted her off the ground while he lay down on the couch, resting his head in Otabek’s lap. With one of his arms over the back of the couch, Otabek’s eyes were directed at the television. Before he even realised what was happening, Yuri’s head was already on his thigh, and Ginger was resting peacefully on Yuri’s chest.

Willing himself to breathe calmly, Otabek didn’t dare to say a word.

This was normal. This was something they had done before. This was perfectly normal, only it really wasn’t anymore. The fact that they had always been rather close and comfortable touching each other was just a sign that they trusted each other, and that was all it had ever been to Otabek. It was just that ever since Yuri arrived the day before, nothing they did felt quite as normal anymore as it used to.

Yuri was looking up at him, probably because Otabek didn’t really managed to stay as relaxed as he had hoped. He was tense and Yuri probably picked up on it.

“Are you ok, Beka?” he asked, but there was no real concern or worry in his voice and that was, surprisingly, putting Otabek at ease. Perhaps he was making a bigger deal out of this than he had to.

“Yeah,” he all but chocked out before he put his hands in Yuri’s hair and pulled out the tie that held all this gorgeous golden mess together. If Yuri was surprised or if he had a problem with it, he didn’t show it. Otabek pulled the hair tie over is wrist and let his fingers run through Yuri’s soft hair, just like he had imagined before.

It didn’t take long for Yuri to close his eyes. He was clearly enjoying the soft strokes through his hair as he was leaning into the touch. Otabek really wanted to stop and get up, get away from Yuri and just… scream, but when quiet soft moans started to escape Yuri’s throat, Otabek was completely gone. There was no coming back from this. Yuri had him wrapped around his little finger, and Yuri probably didn’t even know it.

Just as Otabek found himself unconsciously leaning down towards Yuri’s face, there were a few earth-shattering bangs on the front door, and Otabek all but jumped up from the coach, almost throwing Yuri off in the process. Ginger on the other hand wasn’t quite so lucky. She stared at both of them for a second, silently judging them for waking her up so violently before she trotted out of the room, most likely seeking some peace and quiet in one of the bedrooms.

Yuri found his voice first and this time he did sound concerned. “Everything alright?” he asked.

Otabek had almost forgotten that Yuri was even in the room as he watched Ginger stroll away. He spun around, startled, and only nodded. Yuri was still eyeing him curiously. As Otabek was about to turn and walk towards the door, Yuri called him back.

“Beka?”, he said, “I need my hair tie.”

Pulling the hair tie off his wrist, Otabek handed it over to Yuri who had his hands buried in his own hair a second later to tie it back up in a messy bun.

They both made their way to the door then where they happily greeted some of Otabek’s oldest friends, Asel and Maxim. Asel’s long and curly hair was no longer the dark green it was the last time Yuri had visited, instead she was sporting a bright pink now and it made her dark skin stand out even more. She was the only one of Otabek’s friends that was even shorter than Otabek and Yuri. Maxim’s natural reddish hair was as bright as always but his stubble was new. Otabek thought it made him look a lot more grown-up than he actually was.

Otabek and Yuri hugged them and welcomed them inside. Asel and Maxim dropped everything they brought with them, lots of glass bottles from the sound of it, on the kitchen counter. Balancing a pretty big baking tray in one hand, Asel was grinning up at Otabek.

“I made _Bienenstich_ ,” she announced happily and lifted the foil of the tray to show the guys the contents.

“What exactly is that?” Yuri asked cautiously, while he scrunched up his nose. Otabek only smirked at him.

“It’s a traditional German dessert… cake… dish,” Asel tried to explain. “There’s vanilla custard and an almond crunch. It’s one of Beka’s favourites.”

“Is it?” Yuri now asked, facing Otabek with one eyebrow raised. “In that case, I will happily give it a try later.”

Otabek raised an eyebrow himself, taking on the unspoken and undefined challenge sparkling in Yuri’s eyes.

There was another knock on the door and Otabek went hurriedly to let the next guests in. Waiting for him were the twins, Ezra and Alisur. Both of them had the most chocolate brown hair Otabek had ever seen and even after years of knowing them, he still couldn’t quite get over it. Their eyes were such a match for their hair that it was almost creepy. Their hairstyle was similar, a wavy mess on their heads, but Ezra’s hair was an inch or so longer than Alisur’s and looked more dishevelled, which was practically the only feature that made it possible for people to distinguish between them, at least until they opened their mouths and started to talk.

Otabek happily embraced them in a crushing hug and followed them into the kitchen where the others were already checking out the alcohol. The twins dropped another bag each onto the counter before greeting the rest of the group.

“Yuri, my beautiful Russian fairy,” Ezra lulled before pressed a kiss to Yuri’s cheek and pulled him into a tight hug, his hands wandering dangerously close to the blonde’s butt. Otabek watched and immediately felt a sting in his stomach. He looked away as quickly as he could.

“Where’s Meiz?” Yuri asked no one in particular.

“She’s coming with Temir,” Asel informed him, opening a bottle of strawberry flavoured prosecco that probably no one but her was going to drink.

“Ah,” Yuri said mockingly, “I almost forgot about the asshole.”

Maxim and the twins were chuckling loudly at that. “You’re going to get back at him for last time, aren’t you?” Alisur asked and Otabek didn’t even need to hear Yuri’s reply. He already knew the answer.

“Hell yes,” was all Yuri said before he started looking through the bags the twins brought. He handed a few bottles to Otabek, which he in turn stored in the fridge.

When there was yet another knock on the door, Otabek asked Ezra to get it, unconsciously wondering if there was a specific reason he had asked him instead of any of the others.

A minute later Ezra returned with Meiz and Temir in tow, both of them also holding bags in their hands.

“My favourite tiny Russian is here,” Temir almost cheered and before Yuri knew what was going on, he had flung his arms around Yuri from behind, nuzzling his face in his neck.

At a little over six feet, Temir was by far the tallest of the bunch, which was precisely why he spent so much time making fun of Yuri. Strangely enough, he never did it to Otabek or Asel.

“Get off, asshole,” Yuri growled, shrugging him off before he turned around to stare at him, only to then launch forward and hug Temir properly. “I don’t like you,” he stated matter-of-factly, but there was no edge to his voice whatsoever.

As soon as everyone had rid themselves of shoes and jackets, Temir filled all twenty-four shot glasses with vodka. The eight of them positioned themselves around the bar and Otabek was well aware that Yuri stood much closer to him than he needed to. Their arms were touching, their feet only a centimetre apart.

Otabek swallowed visibly just before Temir raised his first glass and spoke up.

“Alright you losers, we’re toasting,” he said and everyone else picked up one of their three glasses.

“To a fantastic night,” Maxim started.

“In great company,” Otabek added.

“To lives lost,” Yuri reminisced.

“And friends gained,” Asel assured.

“To stupid things,” Ezra mused.

“And bad decisions,” Meiz agreed.

“To going for what you want,” Ali stated.

“Even if it kills you,” Temir promised.

Once Temir had made his toast, Yuri scoffed. “Enough with this sappy shit. Let’s drink,” he commanded and everyone chucked back their first shot of vodka. They banged the empty glasses on the bar, picked up the second one and downed that as well only to drop those glasses as soon as they were empty to snatch the third and last shot. When that round was also emptied, the final glass was placed upside down on the bar.

There was no specific reason they did that and nobody had ever bothered to question it. It was just something they did whenever they got together and it somehow had turned into some sort of tradition that just stuck with them.

Once all shot glasses were cleared away, they all grabbed a drink while Meiz and Otabek filled some bowls with a few snacks. The guys made their way over to the sofas and Maxim pressed play on the playlist Otabek had set up earlier. Out of the corner of his eyes, Otabek saw Yuri, Asel and Ezra going out on the balcony but he didn’t worry himself with it too much. They were back a few minutes later, all of them smiling so it looked like there was no drama to be feared.

Eventually they were all settled somewhere around the coffee table. Asel, Otabek, Yuri and Meiz on the L-shaped sofa, Temir and Ali on the two-seater, and Ezra and Maxim on the floor. They were talking, drinking, and laughing for quite some time. Otabek stuck to his peach schnapps and Yuri only sipped at a bottle of beer, his tequila still in the fridge.

The television was on but set on mute. No one paid attention anyway. Otabek was talking to Asel about her university course when Ezra stood up from the floor.

“Let’s play a game,” he said, already tipsy but definitely not drunk yet.

“What are we, twelve?” Yuri huffed, but he was smirking so he clearly wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea.

“What game do you have in mind?” Meiz asked, her eyes twinkling dangerously like she was thinking of a few games of her own already.

“Never Have I Ever,” Ezra said, smiling broadly, obviously very excited about his idea.

Yuri got up then and walked towards kitchen. Almost all eyes in the room followed him.

“Where are you going?” Alisur asked, leaning back over the couch to look at Yuri.

“If we’re playing childish games, I need something stronger than beer,” Yuri explained as he got his bottle of silver tequila out of the fridge, before he returned to his seat between Otabek and Meiz.

Temir eyed him curiously when he spotted the bottle in Yuri’s hands. It looked like Otabek wasn’t the only one who thought Yuri drinking tequila was a bit out of the ordinary.

“Since when does our Russian elf drink tequila?” he teased, grinning like an idiot.

Yuri’s eyes squinted almost completely shut. He glared at Temir for a second but then relaxed back against the sofa, his arm touching Otabek’s again.

Otabek was seriously starting to question his sanity. Why was he always burning up when Yuri touched him, most of the time presumably completely accidental as well?

“Shut it, dipshit! If I’m getting trashed tonight, I’m going to drink whatever the hell I want,” Yuri snarled before he flipped his middle finger at Temir, who only ended up laughing loudly.

Seeing Asel roll her eyes in amusement, Otabek just shook his head slightly. Out of nowhere, Ezra spoke up again, now sat cross-legged down on the floor.

“Alright, everyone got a drink?” he asked and then looked at Yuri when he added, “Tequila or otherwise?”

Yuri held his bottle up as a clear sign that he was ready to go.

“I’m going first,” Meiz announced, sitting up straight. She looked around the room as if she was thinking about who she would embarrass first. When her eyes settled on Maxim, Otabek had a feeling his friend was about to regret having told Meiz one of his secrets.

“Ok, Never Have I Ever had an affair with a married woman,” she almost giggled.

Now Otabek looked around the room and everyone had the same clueless facial expression that he most likely had on his face, at least until Maxim took a huge gulp from his beer, which prompted everyone but Meiz to stare at him in shock.

Maxim looked at all of their appalled face before he growled at Meiz. “You promised you would never tell anyone.”

“I didn’t,” Meiz said triumphantly. “But you just did.”

Everyone chuckled under their breaths but no one dared to say anything, except for Alisur who leaned over to Maxim to extend his hand, balled up in a fist.

“Dude,” he said impressed, indicating for Maxim to bump his fist, which the other man did, and everyone finally burst out laughing.

“I feel like I underestimated you, Max,” Yuri said, pretending to be impressed.

Maxim for his part only smirked at him and shrugged his shoulders.

“Alright,” Otabek interrupted then and everyone quieted down. “Never Have I Ever cheated on my partner.”

Otabek was happy to see that Yuri didn’t drink, although he wasn’t even sure if Yuri had ever even been in a position where he could have cheated on a partner, since he didn’t know if Yuri had any ex-girlfriends. They had never really talked about this kind of stuff. Regardless though, Otabek was still relieved that Yuri didn’t drink.

Much to Otabek’s surprise though, Asel, who sat on his left side, did take a sip of her prosecco, as did Alisur, which was less of a surprise.

“Ok,” Temir said in a tone of voice that indicated a question was coming next. “We all know you’re an unfaithful bastard,” he said, looking at Alisur and everyone around the room, except for Yuri perhaps, nodded in agreement. “But you,” he continued, his lips curving down and his eyes faking sadness, “you used to be the angel of the group. What happened to you, dear child?”

Asel smirked viciously at Temir for a moment before she offered him an explanation. “If you would pay some attention to someone other than yourself, you would've known years ago that I was actually a bad girl. You just never noticed.”

She leaned back against the sofa with a satisfied smile on her face when Temir dropped to his knees and let his tongue hang out of his mouth like a thirsty dog lusting after her.

“Max, you go next,” Asel announced a moment later, ignoring Temir.

Apparently Maxim didn’t have to think long about what he was going to say, as he almost immediately blurted out, “Never Have I Ever fantasized about sleeping with one of my friends.”

Everyone in the room, except for Maxim, raised their bottles and glasses in unison to take a sip from their drink.

“And I’m the perv,” he mumbled sarcastically but everybody heard. “Yes, you are, my friend,” Ezra agreed, patting him on the shoulder.

“Alright, sweet innocent child,” Temir then addressed Asel again, “you’re up.”

Asel suddenly had the same dangerous spark in her eyes as Meiz had when they began playing this game. Otabek knew that most people, as evident right there, thought that Asel was pretty innocent and girly, but in reality she was probably the exact opposite. Her pink hair didn’t fool him.

“Never Have I Ever,” she began, staring at Temir, “masturbated in public.”

Temir took a sip from his vodka, his eyes fixed on the floor almost ashamed. Meiz, Ezra and Alisur followed him, although they seemed a lot less embarrassed by it. Yuri and Otabek drank last, and Otabek didn’t dare to look at Yuri.

“You guys are killing me,” Meiz said, laughing and clearly talking about Otabek and Yuri.

Otabek wanted the ground to swallow him whole but Yuri wouldn’t let this get to him. His level of shame was fairly low as Otabek had found out over the years.

“We’re athletes,” Yuri explained, gesturing between him and Otabek. “We’re under a lot of stress and sometimes that stress needs imminent release,” he added with a wink.

Yuri leaned back against the sofa, his bottle of tequila still in his hands, but Otabek couldn’t bring himself to move. He looked over at Asel a little awkwardly, at least he felt incredibly awkward, but she just smiled at him encouragingly.

“You could just help each other out next time,” Maxim said as if jerking each other off would be the most natural and logical thing for Otabek and Yuri to do.

While Otabek thought the floor was now actually swallowing him whole, Yuri threw one of the pillows that had been placed over the back of the couch at Maxim, who dodged it by knocking Ezra next to him over. They both rolled around the floor laughing and panting.

“While these two idiots try to regain their control, why don’t you go next, Yuri?” Alisur asked.

Otabek only looked at Yuri out of the corner of his eyes because he was starting to think he might do something stupid if he could see him properly. Maxim had put mental pictures in his head that weren’t so easy to get rid of now.

“Alright. Listen up, idiots,” he yelled at Ezra and Maxim. “I highly doubt you’ll have to drink but still, pay attention, assholes.” They did look up at him but neither one of them actually sat up straight again. “Never Have I Ever had a threesome.”

To no one’s surprise, probably least of all Yuri’s, neither Maxim nor Ezra drank, but Asel and Temir did. Otabek watched them as Asel raised her glass and Temir his bottle. They were staring at each other as if this was a challenge, which it might have been to them.

As soon as they both had drank, Temir once again dropped to his knees. “You’re killing me girl,” he whaled at Asel, but then suddenly turned around to Meiz and winked at her. “But I’m glad you didn’t drink, babe.”

Meiz then leaned forward and grabbed Temir’s chin. Her face was only a couple of inches or so away from Temir’s. Otabek couldn’t see her eyes but he was sure that she was glaring at him.

“Don’t you ever call me babe again,” she said and after a second added, “asshole.” She then kissed him on the forehead before she sat up again. Temir for his part turned into a boneless mess on the floor.

“I’ll go next,” Ezra’s voice suddenly came from somewhere on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. He resurfaced a moment later and tried his best to sit up. “Never Have I Ever bedded a gold medallist,” he said, almost seductively.

Otabek noticed Ezra’s eyes on Yuri and something inside his stomach twisted and turned, causing a dull pain in his gut he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He hadn’t even noticed how his own eyes had grown dangerously small until Asel nudged his thigh and he looked up at her, suddenly sensing how his eyes automatically grew wider upon seeing her friendly face. She didn’t say anything thankfully.

No one really expected anyone to drink, but Meiz did.

“You didn’t specify the sport,” she defended herself. “The guy was a hockey player.” She took another sip for good measure and then turned to Temir, who had somehow managed to take his seat on the couch again. “Alright idiot, you’re next.”

Otabek didn’t like the way Temir then looked around the room. It was almost diabolical and he was certain nothing good would come of it. When Temir’s eyes settled on Yuri next to him, the feeling of pure horror grew immensely.

“Never Have I Ever,” he started, a mischievous grin on his face, “thought about kissing our very own foul-mouthed fairy Yuri.”

Yuri glared at him but Otabek only gulped. Everyone drank in an instant, even Alisur and Temir himself, and Yuri just gawked at them all in shock. Otabek had only two options here. Either lie and pretend like this kind of thought had never crossed his mind, or suck it up and drink. He was the last one to drink.

When he put his bottle back down, Otabek could literally feel Yuri staring at him. He didn’t need to see him, he just knew, but he still refrained from leaning back and checking if he was really right.

Suddenly he felt Yuri’s hand on the small of his back out of sight of everyone else, and that wasn’t even the most shocking thing. Yuri’s hand was under his shirt and Otabek thought his skin was literally on fire where Yuri’s fingers were touching him. Reflexes told Otabek to turn around but when he did, Yuri’s face was suddenly so very close, too close. He could feel Yuri’s hot breath on his lips but before anything could actually happen, Yuri leaned to the side and whispered in his ear. “Touché.” Then Yuri’s hand was gone as quickly as it had appeared under his shirt.

Yuri leaned back from him and grabbed his bottle of beer from the coffee table, laughing.

Otabek needed a minute to collect himself when Alisur already went next with his statement. “Never Have I Ever licked someone’s cock.”

He was grinning, clearly pleased with himself, why that was, Otabek didn’t know. Not everyone drank but more people than expected did. Meiz did (unsurprisingly), Ezra did (obviously), Otabek did (reluctantly), Yuri did (hesitantly) and Temir did (shockingly).

Otabek noticed that Yuri drank, which caused him to almost spit out his drink in surprise. He almost immediately spun around to look at Yuri but the look on Yuri’s face told him that the blonde hadn’t expected Otabek to drink either. They just looked at each other, a little curiously and a little shocked.

Thanks to Temir no one’s attention was on them though because Temir had drunk as well, and apparently everyone in the room thought that was incredibly hilarious. Temir was as straight as they came. How did he end up sucking another guy’s dick, everyone seemed to wonder.

“It was on a dare,” he admitted, his voice pretty small, and then added, “I was very, very, veeery drunk.”

Everyone burst out into laughter again, and Otabek and Yuri eventually joined in but they still exchanged lingering gazes here and there.

“On that cheery note,” Maxim interrupted the howling and got up, “let’s dance.”

“Put on Otabek’s exhibition thingy,” Ezra almost pleaded. “That song is so fucking hot.”

Maxim did put on the requested song, the one Otabek used for his exhibition piece at the Grand Prix Final in Vancouver. Otabek immediately thought back to that day and his performance. Skating to a song like that had felt so liberating, especially after winning gold. It had been a few weeks now but he thought he still hadn’t quite processed yet that he actually came out on top. He kind of smiled to himself, basking in the memory of winning, when Yuri stood up next to him and held out his hand.

“Dance with me,” he said, the same way Otabek had back in Vancouver. Otabek didn’t hesitate at all before he took Yuri’s hand and subsequently got dragged over to the open space between the two-seater and the bar.

The other’s, especially the guys were all already a little too far gone to really keep in time with the rhythm of the song, but Otabek and Yuri either had better stomachs than them or they just connected to the song in a completely different way than they did. Either way, Otabek soon found himself having a hard time breathing.

Yuri didn’t let go of his hand, instead he placed it on Yuri’s hip before he flung his arms around Otabek’s neck, loosely holding them together there. Otabek was convinced he wasn’t much of a dancer, even though he had fun dancing but he always feared he just looked completely clueless when he danced. Yuri seemed to think otherwise, or he just didn’t care.

When the song was fast and steady, Yuri swayed his hips and bent his knees. His eyes were half-closed. He so obviously knew how to become one with the song, as he had demonstrated hundreds of times on the ice. This there was different though.

During the slower parts of the song that were mainly vocals, Yuri pressed himself to Otabek’s chest. He buried his face in Otabek’s neck and Otabek thought he felt Yuri’s lips ghost over his skin right where his neck met his shoulder. Yuri’s breath was hot on his skin, while Otabek tried his best not to lose control.

He inhaled the scent of Yuri’s hair and noticed that the bun Yuri had sloppily tied his hair into earlier was close to falling apart. Before Otabek could stop himself, he lifted one of his hands from Yuri’s waist and pulled the hair tie out. Yuri’s gorgeous hair fell down his back in small waves. Otabek couldn’t stop himself from dragging his hand over Yuri’s back and into his hair. He pulled Yuri closer by his hip and dug his hand deeply into Yuri’s mane, resting it at the back of Yuri’s head. Once he did that, Yuri’s lips actually touched his neck.

Yuri was kissing his neck and Otabek momentarily let loose entirely. They still moved to the music but Otabek had closed his eyes. Yuri’s soft lips on his burning skin was already too much to handle for him, but Yuri didn’t stop there. He placed chaste kisses along Otabek’s neck right up to his ear, where Yuri actually nibbled on his earlobe. The slight pinch Yuri’s teeth caused sent a thrill through Otabek’s entire body and pretty much straight to his cock.

Otabek tried so hard not to moan but Yuri wasn’t making it easy for him. One of Yuri’s arms hung loosely over Otabek’s shoulder, the other one not so much. Yuri reached up and let his fingernails run over Otabek’s scalp, which turned out to be the tip of the iceberg. Otabek unconsciously squeezed Yuri’s hips and lightly tugged at his hair, but Yuri didn’t budge.

Yuri’s hot breath in Otabek’s ear was torture and Yuri didn’t even say anything. When Yuri started plastering more kisses to Otabek’s neck and eventually down his jaw, Otabek suddenly pulled back. He let go of Yuri entirely and took a step back. Thankfully everyone else was so caught up in themselves that they didn’t notice how Yuri and Otabek just went from almost dry humping to standing two feet apart.

Otabek didn’t dare look at Yuri. He was afraid of what he might see on Yuri’s face. Hurt, anger, confusion, he couldn’t decide what was worse.

Instead Otabek just walked off and stepped out onto the balcony, leaving Yuri in the middle of the improvised dance floor around his drunk friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, the song for Otabek's EX that's mentioned towards the end is "Stole the Show" by Kygo. 
> 
> More awkward party games and tons of drama coming up next...


	3. Don't Leave Me Standing All by Myself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri gets crushed, Otabek doesn't know what he wants (or does he?) and the gang is playing "Truth or Dare". Some more secrets that weren't meant to be shared are revealed and Otabek is finally losing his cool... just not the way anybody expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm sorry... This story is getting way out of hand. This chapter is over 7K again, so yeah, there will be yet another one, but I think the fourth one will actually be the last one.
> 
> There's more sex talk in this chapter and some touching is going on, but the actual reason for the Mature rating is (finally!) coming in the next chapter.

Out on the balcony, Otabek started shivering immediately. It was freezing and in his panic, he went outside without shoes or a jacket on, but it still didn’t stop him from curling his shaking fingers around the frozen rail. He leaned over the railing, looking down the six floors to the small playground at the back of the building, and inhaled deeply. When he pushed the air back out of his lungs he could see his breath ghosting in front of his face.

Otabek didn’t know what to make of any of what had just happened. He couldn’t, or didn’t want to, understand what Yuri was playing at. They were best friends and the way they had just been dancing was inappropriate, it was _wrong_.

He wouldn’t deny anymore that he thought Yuri was incredibly beautiful. Hell, Otabek was even ready to admit he might be a little attracted to Yuri. Thoughts of what it would feel like to slide his hands down Yuri’s naked chest, over his nipples and even further down beyond the waistband of his trousers, had definitely crossed his mind, but none of that made any difference.

It didn’t matter that Otabek thought Yuri was gorgeous or that he wasn’t opposed to find out what it would be like to feel Yuri’s skin covered in goose bumps underneath his fingertips. Yuri was his best friend and there was no scenario his imagination could ever come up with that could make him want to risk what they had.

Otabek didn’t know how long he had been standing there, just breathing calmly and trying to steady his nerves, when he heard a door opening, and it wasn’t the door that he went through, it was the balcony door connected to his bedroom. He didn’t turn around to check who was joining him because he knew. No one other than Yuri would dare to go into his bedroom.

“Here,” Yuri mumbled and put Otabek’s boots down on the floor.

Gratefully, Otabek stepped into them and then took the sweatshirt Yuri offered him as well, and he immediately felt a tiny bit better. While he pulled the hood of the sweatshirt over his head, Yuri produced a cup of hot tea seemingly out of thin air. Otabek took a sip and was amazed that it was exactly the way he liked it, with lots of milk and honey.

“Thanks,” he choked out.

They stood there in silence for a few moments. The only noise surrounding them coming from the living room where the others were still dancing. Otabek hadn’t directly looked at Yuri yet, too nervous to find out what he would see, but he did see Yuri standing further away from him than he usually did and that was already bad enough. Otabek’s intention was not to make things awkward between them, just to make sure their friendship stayed as stable as it had been for the past four years.

“I’m sorry,” Yuri eventually apologised, his voice so incredibly small like he genuinely thought he was to blame for Otabek running off.

“Don’t be,” Otabek replied just as quietly, and finally raised his head to look up at Yuri, but what he found was easily comparable to a kick to his groin. Yuri looked completely heart-broken and _afraid_.

Otabek set the mug he was holding down on the little table to his side. He took a few steps over to Yuri to close the distance between them, and wrapped him up in his arms as tightly as he could. One of his hands was back in Yuri’s hair but it felt completely different now than it had when they were dancing. Otabek could feel Yuri’s hands desperately gripping the back of his hoodie, which only prompted Otabek to pull Yuri even closer.

“I felt dizzy and just panicked, Yura,” Otabek tried to soothe his friend, nuzzling his face in Yuri’s hair. “What you did… I’m just… You’re my best friend. I can’t give that up.”

Otabek thought he heard Yuri sob quietly but when the blonde pulled back and out of Otabek’s embrace, he was smiling. His eyes perfectly clear but empty. It was a horrible sight.

“Yura,” Otabek tried again, unsure of what he could actually say to make him feel better, but Yuri interrupted him before he even had a second to think about it.

“It’s ok. I understand what you mean,” Yuri almost sniffled. “We should get back and join the others. The party is just getting started, right?” he asked almost happily before he turned around and walked back inside.

Otabek knew Yuri was trying to appear like his rejection (because let’s face it, that’s what it was, a rejection) didn’t bother him, but Otabek could see behind the façade. Yuri was a master of disguise to most people, certainly to the public, but him and Otabek have known each other too long for Otabek to be fooled by any of it.

Making Yuri feel that horrible was the last thing Otabek had intended, but that was exactly what he had done and he basically hated himself, and his lack of self-control, for it. He should not have let things get that far in the first place and he should not have, even if unintentionally, encouraged Yuri. Otabek should have known better.

Reluctantly Otabek followed Yuri back inside a couple of minutes later.

When he joined the others in the living room, everyone was seated around the coffee table and Otabek hesitantly took his seat between Yuri and Asel again. It was even worse than he expected. Yuri may have acted like nothing happened, but Otabek was beginning to realise that he was fighting an internal battle he was bound to lose either way.

They all drank and laughed for a little while but Otabek stayed out of most of it. Even if someone did pick up on it, no one commented on his reserved behaviour. He let his eyes linger on Yuri a few times, only now those occasional stares were heavy on his heart where they were causing excitement before.

Otabek was convinced that nothing could ever happen between him and Yuri. Their friendship would be ruined and he just couldn’t risk that. Yuri meant too much to him to even consider crossing that line, and deep down he was desperately hoping that Yuri saw that too.

After a little while Maxim got up, granted with a few issues, to make an announcement. He waved his arm around for everyone to quiet down, before he tried to put his index finger to his lips to shush everyone. That didn’t quite work out.

“I have to take a piss,” he said, voice as serious as he could manage, “and then we’re going to play Truth or Dare.”

He stumbled away from the group, slightly bumping into a few walls on his way to the bathroom, and Otabek silently prayed that the mess Maxim would leave there wouldn’t be too big, or he would definitely make him clean it up himself.

A couple of minutes later Maxim reappeared, his shirt half-tucked in his trousers and buttoned up out of order. The only question probably everyone had on their minds when they saw him was why Maxim had unbuttoned his shirt to go to the bathroom. It was a mystery none of them would solve.

“Ok,” he began again, then let himself fall back down on the floor next to Ezra, “I’ll start. Ali, Truth or Dare?”

The man who sat by Maxim’s other side on the two-seater seemed a bit startled by the sound of his name. He obviously didn’t expect to be called out first but he shrugged it off immediately and loudly said, “Truth.”

Maxim had one eyebrow raised, although he probably wasn’t even aware of it at that point, and leaned a little to the side, still looking at Alisur.

“Alright stud, let’s hear your most embarrassing sex story,” Maxim lulled while he tried very hard not to fall over.

Otabek expected Alisur to say that he didn’t have one, that sex with him was never embarrassing but he proved him wrong. Alisur cleared his throat and Otabek thought he was actually blushing a little bit, but he sat up straight and began telling everyone his story.

“So, when I was 17, my girlfriend at the time came over to my house when my parents went out to the theatre. As you can imagine, things got hot and heavy quite fast and we ended up in my room. We were making out on my bed and she slowly started to undress me. So far, so good,” Alisur said and took a massive gulp from his vodka bottle. “When we were both finally naked, I started eating her out which, you know, I’m just too damn good at,” he almost applauded himself, winking at Temir to his left.

Otabek just wanted to die. It wasn’t that he was a prude. He just didn’t really want to talk or even think about sex at that moment.

“So yeah, I’m licking her pussy, she gets all wet and hot, and then suddenly starts calling me daddy and all that shit. Girl had a foul mouth, let me tell you. She told me what she wanted me to do to her and that I should spank her because apparently that was turning her on. So at first I was a bit freaked out but she was so fucking into it that I just kind of went along with it,” Alisur continued his story, taking another sip of vodka. “So I’m there spanking her mighty ass, talking dirty to her and fucking her from behind.”

It got worse and worse, and Otabek still wanted to die.

“When she finally came, she practically screamed the entire house down and then begged me to cum on her face. And hey, I’m not a man who says no to that,” he bragged, winking again. “So I fire my jizz all over her pretty face and she fucking loved it. She scraped everything off her cheeks and licked it off her fingers. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Alisur finished his story, staring into space and most likely basking in the blissful memory of one of the best orgasms he had ever had.

Otabek thought he had literally died then.

“Ok,” Meiz said, confusion evident in her voice. “How is this story anything other than disgusting?” Asel asked, literally disgusted.

“Yeah man, how was that embarrassing? And where the fuck was I that night?” Ezra chimed in.

Alisur immediately lowered his gaze and then he was definitely blushing.

“You spent the night somewhere else. Can’t remember where. And the embarrassing part followed the next morning,” he mumbled quite shyly. “My girlfriend had left before my parents came back home, or so I thought at least.”

Yuri was practically jumping in his seat then. “Oh I like where this is headed,” he chuckled, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, and Otabek’s interest suddenly peaked as well.

“When I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, my father just stared at me, handed me a cup of tea and gave me the most obvious wink you have ever seen whilst grinning from ear to ear. Even a blind person would’ve noticed the joy on his face. I didn’t think much of it, at least until I sat down to eat and my mother came up to me,” Alisur reluctantly told the group. “So yeah, turns out my parents had come back early from the theatre. The performance got cancelled after a cast member fell of the stage, so… They heard everything. The name calling, the spanking, the daddy kind, her screaming… They probably even heard me growling when I unloaded my cum on her face and how she so fucking seductively licked it all of her face and fingers.”

Everyone burst out laughing, everyone including Otabek who unconsciously fell over to the side laughing, only to find himself holding on to Yuri’s back as Yuri was bending forward, holding his stomach in amusement. Yuri for his part took notice of Otabek behind him fairly quickly and turned his head over his shoulders to look at Otabek.

As soon as their eyes met, Otabek willed himself to sit back up straight, and away from Yuri. It was the right thing to do but Yuri seemed disappointed at the loss of physical contact, which only prompted Otabek to make a mental note for himself to be more careful from that moment on. He didn’t want to hurt Yuri any more than he already was.

Once everyone had more or less calmed down again, Alisur spoke up again.

“That wasn’t even the worst part,” he admitted quietly and Temir quickly questioned him. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Alisur said, trying to compose himself as evident by the way he straightened his back. “When my mother told me that they had come back early the previous night, she gave me this whole lecture about how I need to learn to treat women the right way. That I could not use those certain words to address my girlfriend, that I needed to show her some respect and be gentle with her. Long story short, I ended up begging my mother to shoot me right there on the spot.”

Another round of howling laughter followed the end of Alisur’s story, and Ezra exclaimed, “You were the reason mother gave me the same lecture when I came home?”

“Suppose so,” Alisur admitted. “Haven’t had sex at my parent’s place ever since,” he finally said before he raised his bottle to the round and took a sip.

Holding his side from so much laughter, Maxim nodded approvingly at Alisur. “Definitely not what I expected but that was a good start, man,” he said, patting Alisur’s knee in approval.

“I’m done embarrassing myself, so Temir my good man, Truth or Dare?” Alisur asked the man sitting next to him on the couch.

Temir let out an offended puff of air, indicating that he was the coolest guy around and that he would definitely going for a dare, which he did.

“Ok my friend,” Alisur began, looking around the room, “how about you drink your vodka out of something other than your precious bottle? How about a belly button perhaps?”

Temir’s eyes gleamed dangerously. He was obviously up for the challenge.

“Do I get to pick whose belly button?” he asked curiously, already staring at Meiz, as expected. “Sure,” was all Alisur said in response, probably knowing full well that Temir was going to choose Meiz.

“Alright my dear,” Temir said excitedly to her then, “would you do me the honour of providing me with your toned and incredibly flat stomach for this challenge?”

Meiz didn’t look impressed but she stood up and cleared all the bowls and bottles (some empty, others still half-full) from coffee table before she sat down on it.

“Max, move your ass,” she commanded as she sat right in front of him. “Don’t need you to gawk up my skirt.”

Maxim moved immediately, at least as fast as he managed, to the side. Meiz then leaned down on the coffee table so her back was flat on it while her head ended up resting on Yuri’s thighs, as he sat behind her on the couch and the coffee table wasn’t big enough for her to lie down completely.

“Hi gorgeous,” she smiled at Yuri and reached up to stroke his cheek once.

Yuri smiled back at her, clearly amused by the entire situation, while Meiz pulled up her sparkly golden top with her other hand. She pulled it up more than she had to in order to give Temir access to her belly button, revealing her white lacy braw in the process. Asel reached across and pulled the shirt back down to cover it up, much to Temir’s dismay but he only pouted at her instead of saying anything. Meiz’s shoulder-length black hair was sprawled in Yuri’s lap while her naturally tanned skin was glowing in the artificial light shining down on her from the lightbulb above her.

Otabek watched as Temir went down on to the floor, kneeling at the side of the coffee table and subsequently at the side of the beautiful girl lying on it.

“No hands,” Meiz warned Temir as he poured some vodka into her belly button, ultimately spilling some that ran down the sides of her stomach and dropped onto the table. “That’s the most you’re ever going to get, so make the most of it, playboy,” she teased him, one eyebrow raised in a challenge.

Temir pushed himself up from the floor and crossed his hands behind his back, before he leaned forward. He didn’t take his eyes off Meiz as he moved closer. When his lips touched her skin just above the waistband of her red skirt, Otabek noticed how Meiz seemed to inhale deeply at the sensation of Temir’s lips on her, but she didn’t say anything.

Otabek didn’t really want to watch, he was far from interested in any of this. His mind was preoccupied with only one thing, and that was Yuri. Nothing else seemed to matter, but he still couldn’t look away from the spectacle currently happening in his living room.

Slowly kissing his way up to Meiz’s belly button, Temir let his tongue lick over her flawless skin from time to time and every time he did, he could see Meiz’s head roll backwards into Yuri’s lap. Yuri grinned at her and he placed his hands on the side of her face. She was staring at him and smiling. Otabek couldn’t tell if she was trying to distract herself from what was happening because she didn’t like it, or if she was trying very hard to concentrate on the feeling of Temir’s lips because she did like it. The look in her eyes was difficult to read, as she kept smiling up at Yuri, as he smirked at her in return.

When Temir’s mouth finally found Meiz’s belly button, he sucked the vodka out of it in one go, making the most obscene sound Otabek had ever heard. That scene pretty much came straight out of a porn film. It was difficult to watch but no one could look away.

Even though the dare was basically completed, Temir let his tongue swirl around in Meiz’s belly button for another moment before he sucked and nibbled at the soft skin around it.

Otabek grew more and more uncomfortable, just because all of this seemed so incredibly intimate. It felt wrong to be a part of it, even if it was just as a spectator.

A few moments later and Meiz suddenly pushed Temir back by his forehead. “That’s more than enough, idiot,” she said and sat up again, pulling her top down over her stomach again.

As soon as she was back in her spot next to Yuri, she leaned over to him and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Thanks, darling,” she whispered but Otabek heard. He just didn’t know what exactly she was thanking Yuri for.

Alisur ended up grabbing Temir by his arms to pull him back up on the sofa. Temir was clearly completely dazed by what he had just done and no one could really blame him. Everyone knew he had been trying to get with Meiz for quite some time but she just wouldn’t give in. _Good for her_ , Otabek couldn’t help but think. Temir might have been one of Otabek’s closest friends but he could be such an ass to girls and Meiz simply deserved better.

Otabek was at a point where he kind of wanted to throw everyone out. Yuri seemed like he was fine but Otabek felt the massive urge to talk to him and just explain himself. He had no idea what exactly he would say but he was sure he just hadn’t said enough out on the balcony.

Before he could mull over those thoughts any longer, the snapping of Alisur’s fingers in front of Temir’s face pulled him out of his haze.

“Come on, idiot,” Alisur said and bumped his fist into Temir’s side to emphasise the urgency, “it’s your turn.”

Temir shook his head, no doubt trying to regain his composure. He stared at everyone in the room individually for a few moments, cherishing Meiz a little longer than everyone else, before his eyes came to a halt on Yuri, of course.

“Ok my tiny Russian dumpling,” Temir said and Otabek could literally feel Yuri rolling his eyes as hard as he was physically capable of doing. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Yuri immediately replied.

“Aw, you’re no fun munchkin,” Temir teased him but he didn’t seem too upset about it. “Then tell us about the best sex you’ve ever had. Who was it with?”

Otabek immediately tensed up when Temir had voiced his question, not that he had any reason to since whatever Yuri’s answer would be, should not be of any kind of importance to him, but Otabek’s mind (and his heart) needed to know.

Yuri smirked viciously before he leaned back, his beer in his hand, and crossed his legs.

“Me,” he said casually, perhaps even a little triumphantly. The smirk that played around Asel’s lips was almost putting Yuri’s to shame. “No one knows what I like better than I do,” Yuri explained his answer, shrugging his shoulders briefly before everyone burst out laughing once again.

Otabek let out the air in his lungs he didn’t even know he was holding in. He didn’t know what he had been afraid of, but Yuri’s answer did, for whatever reason, calm him down.

“Well played, Plisetsky. Well played,” Temir admitted, his facial expression conveying amusement and even a little bit of admiration.

Yuri winked at Temir before he turned around to face the girl next to him. “Truth or Dare, Meiz?”

Meiz seemed to think about it for a moment but she eventually went with the truth.

“Don’t judge me but I’m genuinely curious, mainly because you’re a girl,” Yuri said, but there was no sign of actual hesitation in his voice. “What gets you in the mood faster, watching porn or reading porn?”

Otabek was a little stunned by that question. Sure, Yuri had removed himself as far as it was humanely possible from his teenage fairy image, and he swore like a sailor on top of that, but this question was blunt, even for him.

“Who says I need porn to get myself off?” Meiz asked in return, but she smiled challengingly at him before she continued. “I read more than I watch. No one will ever produce a porn flick that could possibly rival my own imagination,” she went on.

Otabek agreed whole-heartedly and as if on cue, his imagination was running wild, much to his annoyance.

He didn’t know if Meiz had picked up on the fact that he momentarily zoned out but she addressed him next, asking him what he was going for. He felt Yuri’s eyes on him in an instant and before he knew it, he choked out, “Dare.”

“Since we’re probably not going to play 7 minutes in heaven tonight, I dare you to pick anyone in the room that you can play 7 minutes in heaven with right now,” Meiz explained her dare.

Otabek debated for a moment whether or not this was actually a good opportunity to talk to Yuri in private, but he realised that his friends would probably get the wrong idea in the end and all the teasing that would no doubt follow, wouldn’t really help his cause. Instead he snatched Asel’s hand and dragged her to the hallway where the storage room was located near the front door.

“No funny business you two,” came Ezra’s voice from the living room before Meiz locked them into the closet.

Asel jumped up on the washing machine, her bottle of strawberry prosecco placed between her legs. Otabek mirrored her and sat on top of the dryer opposite her, his bottle of peach schnapps also between his legs.

They sat there in silence for a moment, and Otabek definitely wouldn’t have minded if that was how they would spend the entire seven minutes they were locked in there.

He had picked Asel for a reason. The fact that he was comfortable around her was one thing but the other one simply was that no one actually did expect there to be any funny business between the two of them. Asel was not only gay, she had a girlfriend.

“Are you ok, Beka?” she eventually asked him after what felt like an eternity.

Otabek looked up at her, and her entire face fell when she saw his.

“Sure,” Otabek breathed out, when he was actually close to screaming his head off.

As expected though, Asel didn’t take any of his shit. While Otabek had some of his schnapps, Asel raised an eyebrow, her face serious and dark. “You may fool the other drunk bastards out there, but you can’t fool me. You know better than that, Beka.”

Otabek sighed deeply. How could he possibly explain to her what was going on in his head when he couldn’t even make sense of it himself? How could he tell her that he might be feeling more for Yuri than he thought when he wasn’t even sure what exactly that ‘ _more_ ’ was?

“I just,” he began, still trying to decide what he should tell her, “I just have a few things to sort out.”

He studied the label of his bottle then with a little more interest than strictly necessary, or believable for that matter.

“About Yuri?” Asel enquired, her voice implying that it was actually a rhetorical question.

Otabek’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead, his eyes grew impossibly wide and his lips parted a tiny bit in astonishment. Either Asel did know him a lot better than he thought she did or Otabek had failed miserably at keeping himself under control.

“Why would you think that?” he asked in return, still stunned.

“The fact that you’re answering my question with another question tells me all I need to know,” she told him, shrugging one shoulder.

Otabek sighed again. This wasn’t quite what he had intended to happen when he dragged Asel into the closet with him.

“I just don’t know what he wants from me,” he eventually said, but keeping it as vague as possible, because it was actually fairly obvious to him what Yuri wanted from him. Otabek was the one who didn’t know exactly what he himself wanted.

“I know what he wants,” Asel basically sang, pretty much saying that she knew something that Otabek didn’t.

“You do?” he asked curiously, although he couldn’t shake the anxiety in him either.

“You, Beka. He wants you,” Asel almost lectured him. “It’s so obvious. Well, to me it is. I don’t know if the others have noticed it,” she said trailing off.

Otabek was pretty certain that he knew that Yuri wanted to be more than just friends with him, but up until then Otabek could always kind of brush it off, pretend it might not be true. Hearing someone else say it out loud suddenly made it real, and Otabek didn’t know how to deal with it.

Asel seemed to notice Otabek’s silence and addressed him again. “Do you like him?” she asked in the same kind of way she had before, like she already knew the answer but she had to ask anyway.

“I do… I think,” Otabek said in an instant. “It’s just that… we’re best friends. I don’t want to lose what we already have.”

“Then don’t act on your feelings,” Asel said as if that would so easy to do.

“But what if things get awkward between Yuri and me? And by that, I mean even more awkward than they already are,” Otabek wondered out loud, and he realised that he felt relief that he could actually talk about all of this with someone.

“Beka. It sounds like you’re trying to come up with excuses but you’re only making it worse. You can’t win this, not the way you want to,” she explained but Otabek was only confused.

“What do you mean?” he wanted to know, close to begging her to make that fateful decision for him.

Asel jumped down from the washing machine and walked over to Otabek. She took his bottle and placed it on one of the shelves where she had left her own bottle, before she stepped between his legs and put one hand on his thigh. Asel then reached up and lifted Otabek’s head with two fingers under his chin.

“Listen,” she said once he was looking at her, “you don’t really have a lot of options here. Either you give in to your feelings and go for what you and Yuri clearly both want, or you fight against yourself and pretend that everything is fine, but trust me, as awkward as it is right now, it will only get worse, if you chose to ignore your feelings.”

Otabek thought about her words for a moment and of course she was right, but there was still one thought that clouded his mind.

“But what if it doesn’t work out? What if we, what if _I_ mess this up and I lose him completely? I couldn’t live with that,” Otabek confided in Asel, fighting the tears that were staring to pool in his eyes.

“Sweetie, that’s a risk you’re going to have to take if you want to be with him. Whatever you decide to do, things have already changed and they are not going back to how they were before Yuri came to visit,” Asel tried to encourage him, but she only achieved the exact opposite.

“I can’t risk losing him, Asel, not after all the shit we’ve been through and all the effort we put into this friendship. I’m not going to put that on the line,” Otabek said convincingly, but his voice was close to cracking.

“That’s ok, Beka. I’m not telling you what to do. I’m just saying that your friendship with Yuri has already changed. What you do with it now is up to you,” Asel reasoned.

Otabek pulled her in for a hug. It felt so good to talk about it but at the same time it only raised more questions, and more red flags. He knew what the right thing to do was, he just wasn’t sure he wanted to do it.

While Otabek and Asel were embraced in each other’s arms, Maxim suddenly opened the door with a loud thud and stumbled in. When he saw them there hugging, he seemed bored.

“Well, this is a lot less exciting than I thought it would be, and I already had low expectations,” he told them.

Otabek and Asel let go of each other and both of them glared at Maxim, purely out of spite.

All three of them walked back to the living room where the others clearly had a few more drinks while Asel and Otabek were gone.

“Ahh,” Alisur lulled, “no swollen lips, no lipstick on Beka’s face and perfect hair. You people are boring.”

In unison, Otabek and Asel glared at him the same way they had done before with Maxim.

“Idiot,” Asel muttered before they both sat down again in their assigned seats.

Otabek looked over at Yuri but the blonde either intentionally or unintentionally ignored him, his gaze fixed towards the silent television. He inhaled deeply and then noticed that two people seemed to be missing from their group.

“Where are Temir and Meiz?” he asked no one in particular.

Ezra spoke up first. “Well, right after you two got locked up, Meiz went to the bathroom to clean her sticky stomach,” he said. Maxim added, “and Temir went out for a cigarette, but now that you mention it, it has been seven minutes.”

It was right then that they all heard someone moan and someone else scream. Everyone’s eyes flew open wide once the realisation of what they had just heard was hitting them.

“No,” Ezra huffed in shock. “They’re not really…,” Asel began but didn’t finish. “They wouldn’t…,” Maxim also started but obviously didn’t dare to finish.

Otabek was too shocked to even say one single word.

Except for the music that was still playing in the background, it was dead silent in the room, up until Temir and Meiz reappeared a minute later.

They both wordlessly went to their previous seats and sat down. Meiz didn’t look impressed and completely unbothered, Temir on the other hand smirked in triumph.

Everyone was staring. Alisur found his voice first.

“You guys did not just fuck in Beka’s second bedroom, did you?” he asked what all the others couldn’t bring themselves to.

Meiz stayed silent but Temir nodded enthusiastically which prompted an annoyed “idiot” out of Meiz after all.

“Oh come on guys,” Yuri said, his nose scrunched up in disgust while moved an inch or two closer to Otabek and away from Meiz. “I was supposed to sleep in there tonight, _on that bed_. Ugh…”

“You two are never coming over here again,” Otabek informed them, gesturing between Temir and Meiz. “Especially you, Temir,” Otabek added to Yuri’s complaint as well.

“Unbelievable,” Asel muttered under his breath and Otabek was thankful for the distraction.

“Moving on,” he almost growled, annoyed with what his friends had just done, not specifically with what they had done but rather that they had done it in his apartment. “Asel, Truth or Dare?” he asked and her imminent response was truth.

Asel was one of Otabek’s oldest friends. It wasn’t that easy to think of a question for her as he knew almost everything about her already, and he was sure most of the other people in the room did as well, aside from Yuri perhaps.

Just coming up with a question for Asel was one thing, thinking about a question that was as intimate as most of the other questions had been up until that point, was another.

In the end Otabek did think of a question that he didn’t know a specific question to. Whenever they had talked about it, Asel had kept her answers and stories vague. While he wasn’t necessarily interested in her answer, it was the only question he could think of that wouldn’t draw any attention to his odd behaviour. If he didn’t want people to get suspicious, he had to follow everyone else’s lead.

“Ok,” he said, and he hoped Asel was able to read the silent apology on his lips before he asked his question. “Who did you lose your virginity to?”

Then something happened that Otabek did not expect. Asel immediately averted her eyes from him and she was blushing a shade of pink that easily matched her hair. She kept her mouth shut tight until Otabek nudged her gently.

“What is it?” he asked, unafraid and almost concerned because he didn’t know why Asel was so hesitant.

She straightened her back but still avoided Otabek. Asel was one of the most open and sassy people Otabek knew, much like Meiz, and this kind of behaviour was seriously starting to freak him out.

“It was you,” Asel all but breathed out, barely above a whisper but everyone had heard it anyway.

“What?” Otabek and Yuri spat out at the same time, but Otabek barely noticed it.

What Otabek did notice was Yuri’s leg suddenly touching his again, and the warmth spreading from there was clouding his mind, but he couldn’t let it distract him. The tension that hung in the air was uncomfortable, and no one seemed to dare to speak.

“What are you talking about, Asel?” Otabek then asked because he needed to know.

It appeared that she took pity on him when she decided to look at him, but Otabek clearly saw that she didn’t want to have this conversation in front of everybody else, much like he didn’t want to either.

“I lied,” Asel simply said. Otabek’s confusion however only grew. “I wanted you to think that I knew what I was doing but I had no clue. You were so nervous and I just wanted to help you calm down. I figured that if you knew that at least one of us wasn’t completely clueless that you’d be more comfortable.”

Her voice was as small as she was. Asel clearly had a hard time telling Otabek the truth, and a part of Otabek wished she hadn’t told him at all.

It was Maxim who cut through the silence that followed Asel’s confession.

“Hang on, Asel. You two slept together? Beka lost his virginity to _you_?” he asked as if he had trouble believing it, and Otabek could understand the confusion. Asel was gay and no one knew that she had ever had sex with a guy, least of all a friend of hers.

This time Asel didn’t hesitate long though. Otabek sure as hell wasn’t going to say anything, and even though he really wanted her to just shut up, he was grateful that it was her explaining what had happened instead of him.

“We were fifteen. We weren’t dating or anything. Beka was curious and I said I was too. I told him that I had been with a guy before to ease his anxiety a little but,” and she inhaled sharply, “that wasn’t true.”

Otabek could feel Yuri shift in his seat next to him and he did glance at him once, but immediately regretted it when he saw the look on Yuri’s face. He seemed angry, his lips stretched into thin lines pressed tightly together. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were glittering with deadly fire. It made Otabek extremely uncomfortable.

“I can’t believe this,” Temir said, stunned.

“This is hilarious,” Alisur laughed but immediately quieted down again when Otabek and Asel shot him an angry stare.

“I’m sorry, Beka. I shouldn’t have lied to you,” Asel apologised, her hand reaching out to touch Otabek’s face, but he leaned away from her and she seemed to take that as a clear sign that he wasn’t quite ready to deal with her.

It was Ezra then who tried to lighten the mood again by saying, “Seriously though, this is kind of funny guys.”

“Shut your face, dipshit,” Asel growled at him. “Just play the fucking game.”

Everybody was pretending that things hadn’t suddenly gone a bit awkward but Ezra’s enthusiastic “Dare!” seemed to immediately lift everyone’s spirits again, mainly because Ezra was by now definitely drunk of his ass.

Otabek stewed in his seat for another moment until Asel gave Ezra the instructions for his dare.

“I dare you to pick anyone other than me to make out with for one minute, which will be timed,” she almost commanded. Otabek assumed she was desperate to get the group’s focus off her and giving Ezra a dare like this was certainly a way to do it.

Ezra didn’t even pretend to think about who he was going to pick. His eyes went straight to Yuri and Otabek’s stomach dropped instantly, all the hurt Asel had just inflicted on him brushed away in an instant like it was never even there to begin with, but instead replaced with pure anger towards her for giving Ezra this dare.

“What do you say, my beautiful fairy?” Ezra asked Yuri, probably trying to sound sexy but he failed miserably.

His drunken ass somehow managed to get himself up into a standing position and, to Otabek’s surprise and horror, Yuri stood up too. They each took a step towards the other to close the gap between them. Ezra was three inches taller than Yuri which made the blonde appear even smaller than he already was. They stood right in front of Otabek, which was the worst place they could possibly have chosen to do this.

“You better be good at this,” Yuri warned Ezra and then added, “loverboy.”

Otabek could feel panic starting to pool in his guts. _This was not happening, this was not happening, this was not happening._ He chanted it in his head over and over again, but it didn’t change anything. It was happening.

“Ready?” Temir asked, his phone ready in his hands to time the one minute Asel had set as a limit.

“Always,” Ezra said confidently, and Otabek saw Yuri smirk dangerously at the taller man.

“Go,” Temir shouted.

It was Yuri who then immediately grabbed Ezra’s face to crush his lips on the other man’s. Ezra pulled Yuri close by his delicate hips. There was no space left between them, nothing, not even a single breath would be able to get through.

Otabek watched in horror as Yuri and Ezra hungrily opened their mouths. He saw how their tongues began to fight a war neither of them was eager to end, and how Ezra’s hand went up Yuri’s back and straight into his hair, gripping it tightly right behind Yuri’s head, much in the same way Otabek had done earlier when he was dancing with Yuri. Ezra’s other hand went down to cup Yuri’s butt. Otabek watched how he squeezed harshly, pressing Yuri’s crotch into his, and Otabek was forced to listen when Yuri let out a small moan. Both men were panting heavily but neither one of them pulled back. It felt like they both wanted to see this through, not willing to be the one to withdraw first and be declared the loser who ruined the dare.

Yuri then stretched himself up on his toes while he pulled Ezra down by his neck at the same time. His shirt went up a little and Ezra’s hand wandered underneath it at the small of Yuri’s back.

Otabek thought he was about to either murder Ezra or, what seemed more likely, throw up his dinner along with every single drink he had that night. It was too much. He physically couldn’t deal with it.

Ezra’s breath hitched in surprise when Yuri pulled hard on his hair, but what escaped his throat was a low growl that sounded more turned on than pained. The way Ezra moved his body against Yuri’s was incredibly obscene, it was pornographic even, but Yuri still didn’t pull back.

Seeing Yuri like this with someone else, one of his friends at that, felt worse than every single fall Otabek had ever had to endure on the ice, combined. It felt worse than the time he stepped on a rusty nail as an 8-year old, worse than Asel’s betrayal. It even felt worse than the moment Temir had knocked on his parent’s house late at night to tell him that Sofia had killed herself, because the difference was that Yuri was still there. He was there and he wasn’t kissing Otabek, he was kissing Ezra.

The second Temir shouted for them to stop when the minute was over, Otabek got up from the couch, pushed Ezra and Yuri almost violently out of his way, grabbed an unopened bottle of vodka and walked away.

He slammed his bedroom door behind him, angrily opened the bottle in his hands and started to drink without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for having Otabek run off again but it's slightly different this time. He was overwhelmed and nervous before, this time he's just plain angry...
> 
> In the next (and hopefully final) chapter, Yuri is reaching his breaking point while Otabek denies something before he confesses something else.


	4. You're the Only One I See.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is standing his ground while Otabek gets a reality-check he didn't expect, only for both of them to finally take a first step into the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I lied. The fifth and final chapter is coming tomorrow... These guys are just acting on their own by now. Not much I can do to stop them. 
> 
> This chapter here is basically 97% angst and tiny bit of fluff at the end.

What the fuck had just happen? What the hell had Yuri just done?

Those were the only two questions in Otabek’s mind when the first drop of vodka ran down his throat, burning and flammable. It took every ounce of self-control he had left for him to not run back into the living room and beat the living crap out of Ezra. He wanted to beat him senseless and yell at Yuri, let them know unmistakably that they couldn’t do those sorts of things in his apartment.

Otabek wanted to scream and throw something, see it break into a thousand pieces never to be returned to its former glory. He thought about putting his fists through a wall, watching as his skin would open and blood tickle down his hands, staining the carpet red.

He had only ever felt like this once before. Otabek remembered how the underlying rage and fury had come to the surface in a rush then, the anger he didn’t know he had in him bubbling up and over. It had been one of the worst feelings he had ever experienced. He had shown a side of himself then that he never wanted to see again, shocked himself by what he had been capable of, but now he was back.

That ugly monster that he had hid inside him for so long, had woken up and Otabek couldn’t do a damn thing about it. He wanted to fight it, put it back into its cage but it was too strong, and Otabek was too weak. He couldn’t fight, he didn’t _want_ to fight.

Otabek stood bracing himself against the huge window in his bedroom, one of his forearms resting above his head on the cold glass while he stared outside into the dark night. Raising the bottle of vodka in his hand to his lips again, he took another mouthful. It still burned but it got easier to drink because he wanted to forget and drinking was a good way to do that.

He barely noticed the bedroom door opening and closing again because he didn’t think anyone would have the guts to follow him in there, but someone did. That someone was Yuri as Otabek could see his reflection in the window, his lips still red and swollen and his hair unruly, but the blissful look that adorned his face before was gone. Yuri’s eyes shimmered dangerously, when Otabek turned his head to the side to look at him.

“What?” Otabek barked at him, the vodka rushing through his veins.

Yuri didn’t even flinch. “Why did you storm off like that?” he asked, a surprisingly calm edge to his voice.

“I didn’t storm off,” Otabek denied, raising his bottle up again, but Yuri snatched it out of his hands before he could drink.

Otabek just stared, offended, but didn’t resist.

“Yeah, you did, Beka,” Yuri insisted.

"So what?” Otabek asked without missing a beat and more harshly than he probably intended.

Yuri’s demeaner didn’t change at all. He stood his ground. “There’s no need to snap at me,” he said, “I’m not the enemy here.”

Otabek huffed sarcastically. That was exactly what Yuri was, just as much as Ezra.

“You’re not? Could’ve fooled me,” he sneered at Yuri, turning away from him because looking at his best friend was painful.

Yuri stepped closer but refrained from touching Otabek, who in turn was longing for Yuri’s hands on him more than he ever thought he would.

“What’s gotten into you?” Yuri quizzed him. Otabek thought he could hear a sliver of genuine cluelessness in Yuri’s voice but it was mostly overshadowed by slowly rising anger.

Otabek couldn’t deal with Yuri being angry at him, even though he acted just as stupidly as Yuri did. They were two sides of the same coin, one and the same person but unable to see each other, and Otabek didn’t want that anymore. He needed to see Yuri, all of him.

“Why did you kiss Ezra?” he burst out, firmly and hesitantly at the same time.

Neither Yuri’s eyes nor his body gave anything away. Nothing about him told Otabek what Yuri was really feeling. There was no immediate reaction to his question and the longer Yuri made Otabek wait for an answer, the more Otabek started to crumble on the inside.

“What’s it to you?” Yuri eventually asked, his voice back to a calming mess confusing the heck out of Otabek.

“I know you’re drunk but you can’t just go around kissing my friends, Yura,” Otabek almost whined and he hated how pathetic he sounded, like he was 6-years old and annoyed that Yuri was playing with someone else on the playground. It was ridiculous.

Yuri’s eyes narrowed in on him, a fire inside them that was so incredibly different to the fire Otabek normally saw in his eyes when he was about to perform on the ice. This fire was hot, full of angry flames ready to attack, and Otabek was about to get burned.

“Why not?” Yuri snarled at him. “You were the one who said you want us to be just friends. You pushed me away, so what’s your problem with me kissing Ezra?”

Otabek wanted to scream out in pain. Yuri’s words hit him unexpectedly hard because they were true. Otabek had pushed him away. He rejected Yuri to save their friendship so why was he that upset now.

Even though he knew deep down that Yuri had a valid point, Otabek wasn’t going to give in that quickly. There was a part of him that wanted to turn this around, find a way to make Yuri see that what he had done was wrong without actually making himself a part of it.

“What’s the big deal?” Otabek retorted, “Ezra is crushing on you. You shouldn’t give him the wrong idea.”

It was the most pathetic thing Otabek could have said but he had still said it, and Yuri obviously didn’t take the bait.

“Who says I’m giving him the wrong idea? Maybe I like him,” Yuri offered casually. Otabek though only heard the barely there challenge in Yuri’s voice.

“What?” he asked almost mortified.

“I’m not a kid anymore, Beka. I’m 19 and single. If I want to go around kissing someone, I will, and if I want to do more than kiss, then I will do that too,” Yuri exploded all of a sudden.

Otabek was taken aback by the sudden outburst of emotion. Yuri had had himself under control until then but perhaps Otabek had handled him with gloved hands, and Yuri clearly had enough of it.

Not being able to say anything in response, Otabek just stared at Yuri, his eyes as wide as they would go, completely irritated by what Yuri had just said. Soon enough though, he felt the inevitable anger return, pooling in his stomach and ready to be set free, but it wasn’t anger towards Yuri, only towards himself for momentarily treating Yuri like he was still the 15-year old kid he first asked to be his friend.

Yuri wasn’t that person anymore. He had become this incredibly confident, strong and independent man that Otabek had grown so fond of. Yuri was free to do however he pleased. He didn’t owe Otabek anything.

Even though this realisation figuratively opened his eyes, Otabek couldn’t shake the anger inside him but he also couldn’t take it out on himself, which ultimately put Yuri at the receiving end of it after all.

“Fine,” Otabek eventually hissed and turned away again from Yuri. He didn’t trust himself to say more than that because he knew he would only make it worse.

“Fine,” Yuri’s reply echoed through the room.

Otabek heard feet shuffling, indicating that Yuri was leaving the room. The door made a clicking noise when Yuri pushed the handle down to open it but only a second later the door got slammed shut again and Yuri came rushing back.

He shoved Otabek’s shoulder harshly, forcing him to turn around to face the blonde fury that was currently towering dangerously in front of him. It all happened so fast that Otabek barely had a second to understand what was going on.

“No!” Yuri growled and then hastily added, “You know what? You don’t get to do this, Beka.”

Otabek’s back was now pressed against the window. The glass was freezing, only the thin layer of his t-shirt separating his skin from the frozen material, but it grounded him. It cleared his mind in an instant and he realised that Yuri was about to explode again.

“Do what?” Otabek hardly managed to choke out.

Yuri’s face was so close to his but it was sporting a look Otabek had never seen before. Yuri was pissed off, he was raging, and it was all directed at him. Otabek never thought he would be the one who had to face Yuri’s fury but here he was, having put himself into this unbearable situation without any way out. Whatever Yuri was going to say next, Otabek had to listen.

“You don’t get to preach down on me from your imaginary high horse,” Yuri warned him, and Otabek could already sense that Yuri was about to send his entire world into a down spiral. “You have no right to judge me. So what if Ezra is crushing on me? There’s nothing wrong with that. At least he is doing something about it. You do not get to be jealous because I decided, of my own free will I might add, to give him what he wanted,” Yuri yelled at that point, pressing a finger into Otabek’s shoulder, emphasising his point.

Otabek though had only one question. Was he really jealous? Was that what this feeling in his stomach was, that kept twisting his insides so painfully every time someone touched Yuri, or even so much as looked at him? Was that what jealousy felt like?

“I’m not jealous,” Otabek countered, and _lied_ , but Yuri apparently wasn’t done.

“Oh please, Beka,” he said exasperated, waving a hand in the air as sign of just how ridiculous Otabek’s denial was. “Keep telling yourself that. You’ve even glared at Temir when he arrived and hugged me. I just don’t understand where the hell this is all coming from now and why the fuck you’re acting like a complete asshole all of a sudden, since you made your feelings about me perfectly clear earlier. You see me as a friend and nothing else,” Yuri spat out and Otabek felt himself cringe at that. “It’s ok if you feel that way, I’m still your best friend and you’re still mine, but let me tell you something. When I told you about my dream in Vancouver I was horrified. I was afraid to look you in the eyes again and terrified I would lose you because of it, but then you were so convinced that it didn’t mean anything. It did mean something to me though. You don’t feel the same way about me? Fine. That’s cool, but if that’s truly the case then you do not get to be jealous and you do not get to shame me for wanting to move on. Don’t be mad at me because I won’t sit around and wait for you to _maybe_ _someday_ realise that you perhaps do feel something beyond friendship for me after all.”

Yuri’s face was red and flushed with anger. When Otabek looked up at him, he saw tears running down his face and Otabek didn’t want do anything else other than reach up and brush them away, but he couldn’t. He was trying so hard to not fall apart himself. His shirt was already wet but he couldn’t remember the moment his own tears began falling. Looking at Yuri was like staring directly into the sun for too long, painful and blinding.

“You need to figure your shit out and then we can actually talk about this,” Yuri said, much calmer now than before. “In the meantime, pull your head out of your arse and at least try to act fucking civil around your friends.”

Yuri then spun around on his heels and walked away but he came to a halt again when he spotted his bottle of tequila that he had put on Otabek’s dresser before. He grabbed the bottle, stalked back over to Otabek and pushed the bottle into Otabek’s chest violently.

“And by the way, I’m not drunk asshole. You’re not the only who can fool your stupid friends,” Yuri clarified while Otabek reached up to get a hold of the bottle. Yuri then let go of it but he still glared at Otabek. “Don’t you dare ever pull that crap on me again,” he added before he finally left the bedroom, the door slamming shut again with a thud.

Otabek had a suspicion about what Yuri meant when he said he knew how to fool his friends. He raised the bottle to his nose and took a sniff. Nothing. To double-check he gulped down a mouthful. It was water.

As if something had possessed him, Otabek threw the bottle across the room. It hit the wall next to his wardrobe and shattered into pieces, leaving a wet stain on the wall, drops of water running down the light green wallpaper.

Eventually Otabek’s knees buckled. He gave in and slid down the freezing window, his entire body boneless.

Yuri had switched the tequila in his bottle with water. Otabek had done the same. He had poured out the peach schnapps and filled the bottle with water before everyone else came around. Yuri was the only person who knew that Otabek did this occasionally.

Otabek wasn’t sure if Yuri knew that he had done it again tonight with his peach schnapps but he had a sneaking suspicion that Yuri was aware of it, which made everything just so much worse.

Violent sobs were starting to echo through the bedroom, when Otabek pulled his legs up to wrap his arms around them. He pushed his head down on his knees, trying to drown everything out. It was all too much for him to comprehend. This was too much and his body reacted severely.

The tears came crashing down, one by one without hesitation. Otabek was weeping heavily, his eyes clouded by wet eyelashes and his mouth achingly dry.

It felt like running into a brick wall at high speed. The sudden intense pain coming out of nowhere without any warning. It felt like that to Otabek because Yuri was right.

He _was_ judging Yuri for kissing Ezra.

He _was_ jealous.

He _did_ glare at Temir when he had arrived and hugged Yuri.

He _did_ reject Yuri earlier on the balcony.

He _did_ convince Yuri that his dream didn’t mean anything.

He _was_ mad at Yuri for moving on.

And he had no right to do or feel any of those things, and he had done and felt them anyway.

This whole situation had turned into a mess Otabek did not see coming. When Victor and Yuuri told him that they wanted to surprise Yuri with a visit to see him, he had been excited. They hadn’t seen each other in over six months before Vancouver. Getting the chance to see Yuri twice in one month was simply an offer he couldn’t refuse, but now he thought he should have known better. Things had gotten awkward in Vancouver and he should’ve thought more about Yuri’s feelings, taken into account that Yuri was not the kind of person who just let things go that he was so clearly bothered by. All the signs had been there, and Otabek had blissfully ignored them all at the thought of getting to see his best friend again. It was a mistake he was regretting gravely now.

Otabek was still sobbing, his lungs aching in a way he couldn’t describe, when the bedroom door opened again. He didn’t dare to look up, fearing that Yuri was coming back to yell at him again, but it wasn’t the blonde.

“Beka?” Asel’s voice came from further away than he expected, “Everything ok?”

She was about to walk into the room and towards him but Otabek’s voice stopped her in her track.

“Get out,” he growled and then shouted, repeating himself, “get the fuck out!”

Asel immediately retreated. She left the room and closed the door behind her.

Otabek didn’t know why he yelled at her. Part of it was definitely that he was still mad at her for lying to him about the time they slept together when they were fifteen, but the bigger part of him was just mad at the world and everyone and everything in it. It took him only a second to start feeling bad for shouting at her, probably scaring her as well.

He wallowed in self-pity for a little while longer, curled up into a tiny ball on the floor, before he raised himself up on his shaky legs, crossing the room to clean up the mess the tequila bottle had made. Otabek was on his knees already when the door opened yet again and a very determined Temir waltzed in.

“Get up,” he commanded and then grabbed Otabek’s arm to lift him up.

Otabek tried to shake him off but Temir’s grip was too tight around his biceps. “Let go,” he winced, “I need to clean this up.”

“Not with your bare hands, you don’t,” Temir dismissed him and then curled his hand around Otabek’s other arm to pull him close.

When their faces were only a few inches away from each other, Otabek finally looked up at him to find something like sympathy in his friend’s eyes.

“Listen Beka,” he said, shaking Otabek slightly to make sure that he was listening to him, “whatever went down in here between you and Yuri, it can wait. This is a party and you’re the fucking host. Don’t let the Russian monster ruin the fun.”

Otabek shoved him away violently. No one called Yuri a monster. His voice was hoarse and dangerous when Otabek spoke next, his eyes glued to Temir who seemed to be a bit surprised at Otabek’s intense reaction.

“Do _not_ call him that ever again, understood?” Otabek hissed.

As soon as Temir silently nodded, Otabek stormed past him out of the bedroom.

Back in the living room, everyone was sitting around the coffee table. They were all eating. Asel, Yuri and Ezra had what looked like the Bienenstich Asel brought on their plates, while Alisur and Meiz were munching on crisps and dips.

Maxim was, unsurprisingly, passed out on the couch, in Otabek’s spot to be precise. He lay on his stomach, one arm leaning over the edge of the sofa, one hand flat on the floor, the other one buried underneath him. Someone had already placed an empty bucket right next to him, although Maxim wasn’t the type of person who had to vomit when they got drunk.

Unimpressed by the entire scene, Otabek went to the fridge and got an actual bottle of water out, before he went over to the group and let himself fall onto the sofa next to Alisur, snatching the only available seat on the couch from Temir.

Otabek couldn’t bring himself to look at Yuri, or Asel, or Ezra. It was one hell of a mess, so he just sat there silently and nibbled at his water, ignoring everyone around him. He was sure that everyone had noticed the wet stains on his shirt but no one commented on it, thankfully.

Someone had put the volume of the television up while he was in his bedroom, and the sound coming from the comedy show that was on was deafening. The humming sound in his ears was insufferable.

Eventually Meiz stood up, her small bowl of dip empty, brushing her hands against each other to rid them of crisp residue.

“Get your jackets losers,” she addressed them. “We need to get going if we want to get to the square for the fireworks.”

With that she walked towards the apartment door, and Otabek realised that it was indeed already just after 11.30pm. One after the other scrambled out of their seats, everyone except Maxim.

“We can’t just leave him here like this,” Asel said, concern in her voice, but Ezra ignored it. “He’s sleeping. He’ll be fine.”

They all put on their shoes and jackets, threw scarves around their necks, pulled hats over their heads and let their hands slide into padded gloves. Winters in Kazakhstan were no joke after all.

It was a 20-minute walk from Otabek’s apartment to the Republic Square, where thousands of people would be gathering for the public fireworks display. Thankfully it hadn’t actually snowed or rained in a few days so the streets were dry. The biting cold though just wouldn’t disappear.

Temir and Meiz went ahead, Yuri and Ezra right behind them followed by Alisur and Asel. Otabek couldn’t, or rather didn’t want to, deal with any of them. He kept his distance and trolled behind at the end, his hands buried deep in his trouser pockets.

This night had been a disaster and it wasn’t even over. Otabek felt the urge to just turn around and go back to his apartment, lock the door and cut himself off from the world, but he couldn’t do that. Maxim was passed out on his couch and Yuri’s stuff was at his place. Those were two problems that couldn’t be solved by barricading himself in his bedroom.

A few minutes went by when Alisur suddenly fell behind the group. He waited for Otabek and then started walking again when Otabek was level with him.

“You ok, man?” Alisur asked, and he seemed genuinely worried.

“Sure,” was Otabek’s go-to response in situations like those where he desperately wanted to talk but still refused.

He felt Alisur’s eyes on him, looking him up and down questioningly but he didn’t say anything else. They just walked in silence until they all reached the Republic Square where, as expected, thousands of other people already waited for the fireworks. It was five minutes before midnight.

Temir and Meiz squeezed through the crowd towards the Monument of Independence. The view from there was the best, Otabek knew that, but he didn’t feel like forcing his way past all these people. Everyone else was following Temir and Meiz’s lead though. He had no choice other than to play along.

By the time they reached the monument, everyone had already started counting down the last minute to the new year.

Otabek watched sickly as Yuri and Ezra stood close together, grinning at each other like crazy. The closer the countdown got to midnight, the closer Yuri and Ezra’s bodies got. When the nearby church bells rang out at midnight and the fireworks started, Yuri had his arms around Ezra’s neck and started pulling him down into a kiss, but before their lips had a chance to meet, Otabek intervened.

“Enough already,” he growled dangerously and lunged forward to grab Yuri by the upper arm, much like Temir had done to him earlier. He pulled Yuri away from Ezra and said, “Sorry Ezra, but Yuri and I need to talk.”

Otabek didn’t know why he apologised, why he said sorry. It wasn’t sincere and he didn’t mean it. Ezra was the enemy although he had done nothing wrong, but Otabek was too far gone to realise that.

He dragged Yuri away through the crowds of people, away from their group so they wouldn’t hear them. Yuri tried to wriggle his arm out of Otabek’s grip but surprisingly he didn’t put up much of fight otherwise. He did allow Otabek to lead him away from their friends. Eventually, when they were far away, Otabek did let go of Yuri’s arm. They were still surrounded by people but they were strangers, none of them mattered. The important thing was that they stood far enough away from their group to not be overheard. Otabek didn’t need an audience to hear any of what he was about to say, even though he wasn’t even sure yet what that was.

“What the hell, Beka?” Yuri protested, gripping his arm where Otabek had grabbed him.

Before Otabek could really think about what he was going to say, the words just came out of him, like his brain forgot how to think before he opened his mouth.

“Why do you keep doing that?” he demanded to know from Yuri.

“Do what? Enjoy myself?” Yuri asked sarcastically, and Otabek understood immediately that Yuri knew exactly what he was talking about. Yuri had been close to kissing Ezra again, and they would have kissed if Otabek hadn’t interrupted them. He wondered why Yuri would do that on purpose, especially after everything he had said back at the apartment. Yuri had figured Otabek out without him even having to say a word, and yet Yuri still threw salt into the wound.

It hurt, it hurt so much more than Otabek ever thought possible.

“You can’t do these things when I’m standing right there next to you,” Otabek said unconvincingly, and the gleam in Yuri’s eyes told him he didn’t buy it either.

“Let me see if I get this straight. Seeing me kiss Ezra on your couch or here in public is unacceptable because you were right there next to us, right? Ok, so let’s say I had dragged Ezra into your storage room and then have him fuck me right there on your washing machine. That would’ve been ok because you didn’t have to see it? Is that what you’re saying?” Yuri asked, his voice teasing dangerously as he stepped closer to Otabek. “You think you could handle the mental picture of Ezra’s hands all over my body and in my hair, pulling hard, his fingers inside my ass while I moan into his ear? You think…”

“Enough,” Otabek shouted a little too loud. People were suddenly staring at them, but only for the briefest of moments. Otabek looked around apologetically, his gaze lowered. He then proceeded to drag Yuri away even further. Those people that had heard all those things that Yuri just said may not have known them but that didn’t mean that Otabek felt any more comfortable about them listening to their conversation.

“You need to stop,” Otabek simply said when they came to a halt again in an enclosed corner behind a nearby building.

“I told you Beka, you have no right to be jealous and you most certainly have no right to tell me what to do,” Yuri said in such a calm way that sent a shudder down Otabek’s spine.

He knew Yuri was right about this as well, of course he was, but Otabek’s still felt like Yuri just trampled all over him intentionally.

“You don’t care how much it hurts me to see you with someone else?” Otabek croaked out and once he realised what he had said, he let his eyes drop to the ground. This was not how this was supposed to go.

“How can I when you told me that all I am to you is a friend? Friends don’t get to be jealous, Beka. They don’t concern themselves with who the other one kissing or fucking,” Yuri replied, his voice raised slightly but audibly shaken.

Otabek couldn’t look at him. He thought he would break down completely if he did.

“You had so many opportunities to tell me how you feel back in Vancouver. You could’ve talked to me yesterday when you picked me up at the airport. You could’ve talked to me last night during dinner, hell, you could’ve talked to me this morning when we woke up in bed together or earlier tonight on the fucking balcony, but you didn’t. Instead you just pushed me away,” Yuri rambled, and there was an edge to his voice that made Otabek slowly angry.

Angry because he knew that Yuri was right. He did have so many chances to talk to him and he didn’t use any of them. He had been lying to Yuri, and to himself, for only one good reason.

“I didn’t know then, ok?” Otabek yelled and finally looked Yuri in the eyes, “I _didn’t_ know.”

Yuri stepped closer again, only a few inches separating them now. “Didn’t know what?” he asked, the tone of his voice carrying a certain challenge in it that Otabek thought he was finally ready to take on, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

Sighing heavily, Yuri visibly gave up, his shoulders slumping down and his entire face suddenly sad and heart-broken. “I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry I kissed Ezra. I just… _I_ got jealous,” he admitted.

“Jealous of what?” Otabek breathed out, the sound of his voice strange to his own ears. He was majorly surprised by the change of topic and the change in Yuri’s voice from annoyed to apologetic.

“Asel,” Yuri eventually confessed. “When she told everyone about her and you, I got jealous. The thought of you sleeping with anyone, or even kissing anyone, was and still is driving me insane and I know that’s incredibly stupid but I can’t help it, Beka. I just didn’t think before I kissed him.”

Otabek’s hands were shaking when he reached out to place them on Yuri’s hips. The surprise at that was written all over Yuri’s face but he didn’t object, instead he rested his own hands on Otabek’s upper arms. They leaned into each other until their foreheads were touching, cold skin on even colder skin. Otabek closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He still didn’t entirely understand what had really happened throughout the course of the night, but all of that suddenly seemed to be so much less important.

“Yura,” he breathed out without opening his eyes, “kiss me.”

Without a beat, Yuri’s body shifted in his grip and he pressed his chest into Otabek’s, and then the only thing that occupied Otabek’s mind was Yuri’s soft lips on his own rough ones. The cold had a tight grip on both of them, but there was warmth radiating from Yuri’s lips that spread right through Otabek’s entire body. He pulled Yuri closer but as soon as he did, they both pulled back.

It was without a doubt the most innocent kiss both of them had ever had.

Otabek suddenly wanted more. More of Yuri’s skin on his, more of Yuri’s body pressed against his, just more, but something held him back. Something that just wouldn’t magically disappear after one kiss.

Their foreheads were touching again for a moment, and both of them were breathing heavily, overwhelmed by finally giving into their feelings for each other.

Through pitch-black eyelashes, Otabek looked at Yuri to find him smiling contently at him. That was exactly what Otabek was living for, seeing Yuri happy, and knowing that he was the reason for it right there made his heart pump even faster.

When Otabek reached one hand up to the side of Yuri’s face, Yuri let his own hands drop down to Otabek’s waist. Yuri leaned into the touch, Otabek’s glove probably scratchy against his cheek, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m scared, Yura,” Otabek admitted a second later and Yuri looked at him like he already knew what Otabek meant. “I’m scared as hell to want you,” he finally whispered. 

Otabek’s voice and body were trembling, because it was the first time he had said those words out loud. It was the first time he had admitted it to Yuri, and himself, that he did have feelings for him that went beyond friendship.

Yuri then leaned forward again to press his lips to Otabek’s once more, and Otabek let himself enjoy the pleasures of it completely.

The way Yuri didn’t force anything, how he just let his lips linger on Otabek’s without asking for more, felt like Yuri wordlessly trying to tell him that he had nothing to be scared of, because Yuri wanted him too, and that was all that really mattered.

The kiss didn’t last long and didn’t go any further than lips pressed against lips, when Otabek’s phone began to ring.

They reluctantly let go of each other and Otabek answered the call. It was Meiz asking where he and Yuri had disappeared to and informing him that they were all about to head back to the apartment.

“We have to go back,” Otabek told Yuri when he ended the call. Neither one of them had noticed that the fireworks had finished.

As Otabek put his phone back into his jeans pocket, Yuri grabbed his other hand and lead him away. He turned around occasionally, a small smile on his face, before he asked, “Are you okay, Beka?”

“Yeah,” Otabek said while they made their way back to the group, “I think I am.”

It was one of those rare times where he was telling the truth.

* * * 

Yuri had held Otabek’s hand all the way back to the apartment. Otabek did pick up on the smirks none of their friends were able to hide when they had spotted Yuri and Otabek walking over to them hand in hand. He wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this but he was determined to find out.

Maxim was still sleeping on the sofa when they arrived at the apartment, the bucket in front of him as empty as it was they had left him to go out to watch the fireworks.

“I need more cake,” Ezra mumbled on his way to the fridge. “Get me some too, will you?” Meiz called after him.

Much to Otabek’s surprise Alisur and Temir got themselves some water out of the fridge before they fell back into their seats on the smaller couch. Asel and Meiz prepared more plates with cake for everyone when Ezra decided he was too exhausted to do it himself.

Yuri sat down on the bigger sofa and, without thinking, Otabek sat down on the floor in front of him between his legs. He only really realised what he was doing when Yuri leaned forward and kissed the top of his head, which in turn prompted Otabek to wrap an arm around one of Yuri’s legs.

The girls brought over the plates full of cake. Meiz was the first one to crack.

“So, you two,” she said, waving her fork at Yuri and Otabek, “what’s the deal?”

Otabek noticed how Ezra and Asel immediately looked away from them, while Temir and Alisur stared at them expectantly.

“None of your business,” Yuri eventually mumbled, chewing a mouthful of cake.

Meiz smiled broadly at them and just shook her head, but Temir was obviously not ready to drop the topic.

“I hate to be that friend,” he said, and Yuri immediately interrupted him. “No, you don’t,” he accused Temir before he stuffed more cake into his mouth.

Otabek couldn’t help but grin. That was the Yuri he was so desperate to become friends with four years earlier.

Everyone chuckled and Temir rolled his eyes mockingly before he began again. “Like I said, I hate to be that friend, but listen up ice tiger of Russia,” he demanded Yuri’s intention and Otabek looked up at Yuri to see how he reacted. There was nothing but amusement curling around his lips, and Otabek couldn’t blame him.

“If you hurt our dear friend Otabek, I will hunt you down in your ice castle in St Petersburg and break your neck,” he warned, his voice serious until a satisfied smile spread across his face when he stopped talking.

Otabek knew Yuri could handle Temir himself but he couldn’t stop himself from chiming in. “Shut up, Temir,” he said annoyed but grinning.

Yuri kissed the top of his head again before he put his now empty plate on the coffee table in front of them.

“Listen big shot,” Yuri addressed Temir, leaning over dangerously. “First of all, I’ve been treating Beka better in the four years I’ve known him, than you have since you were both in kindergarten.” Otabek nodded in agreement, a teasing smirk on his lips, but Temir still seemed offended. “And second of all,” Yuri continued, “you would break your own neck falling down in my ice castle before you would ever get to me.”

Everyone burst out into laughter because they all knew what Yuri had said was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we will finally find out how the night ends in the final chapter... 
> 
> Maaany thanks for all the comments on the previous chapter! Definitely made writing this one so much easier, even though it felt like some of you had a sneaky look at my notes... ;)


	5. Give Me a Little More You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek and Yuri can't catch a break while some of the others are still around, only to finally get some alone-time when the new year properly greets them in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... First off, sorry for the delay! I managed around 5K yesterday but fell asleep before I could edit them. Then today this whole monster turned into 15K and I decided to split it into two chapters (yet again), bringing the whole story to six chapters over all. The upside now is that the story is finished and I can upload the final chapter tomorrow around midday without any further delay. 
> 
> There's light (?) smut in this one but I already changed the rating to explicit and added appropriate tags in accordance with the final chapter (you'll see).

Otabek remembered to clean the mess he made of the tequila bottle in his bedroom shortly after Temir had given his little best man speech (or rather his well-meant threat to Yuri). He hoped that the hoover got rid of even the tiniest glass splinters on the carpet, because that was the most urgent thing that needed get straightened out. The stain on the wall would have to wait.

While Otabek cleared away the shattered glass, other thoughts began to cross his mind, mainly what Yuri expected of him now, and he wasn’t even thinking about the big picture, but rather the approximately fourteen hours they still had together until Yuri was returning to St. Petersburg. Yuri had already refused to sleep in the guest bedroom as soon as they all found out that Temir and Meiz had had sex on that bed. There was no way that Yuri would sleep there now (and no one was in the mood to change the sheets), and Otabek definitely wouldn’t make him sleep on the couch in the living room next to a passed-out Maxim.

It obviously wasn’t like they had never shared a bed before. They had done that so many times that Otabek lost count, but it was different now. Yuri had a few weeks to get used to his new-found feelings, but Otabek barely had an evening since the realisation hit him. It wasn’t as easy as it might have been for Yuri to make the switch from best friends to boyfriends. Were they even boyfriends? How would that work with the distance between them? Would they supportive rivalry on the ice turn into actual rivalry? And if not, would they unconsciously manipulate their routines to let the other one win? Basically, what the fuck were they doing now?

Otabek stood in front of the wall where the fading water stain slowly revealed the damaged wallpaper. He was staring but he didn’t realise he was, until Yuri came in and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright, Beka?” Yuri asked quietly.

Otabek almost flinched at Yuri’s touch but managed to refrain from doing so last minute. He didn’t want to scare Yuri away, not now, not ever.

“Yeah,” Otabek whispered and reached out for Yuri’s hand.

Yuri let himself voluntarily be dragged over to the bed. They both sat down, side by side, hands entwined, and Otabek reached up with his other hand and gently brushed some of Yuri’s golden locks out of his face. He just stared again and watched as his fingers were sliding carefully through Yuri’s hair.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Beka?” Yuri almost giggled with so much fondness in his voice that Otabek thought it was all just too good to be true.

Otabek looked straight into Yuri’s beautiful blue-green eyes then and he noticed that Yuri was blushing.

It felt weird now, looking at Yuri. Otabek had always known that the blonde was attractive, he just hadn’t realised that he was actually attracted _to_ Yuri, but now everything had changed, seemingly from one moment to the next.

“Can I kiss you again?” Otabek asked hesitantly.

He didn’t know what the protocol was here. Yuri wasn’t just anyone, he was someone special, and Otabek wanted to do things right.

Otabek was relieved when he saw Yuri’s endearing smile beaming at him, and it instantly made Yuri even more gorgeous. He already longed to see Yuri looking at him like this again and again.

“Beka,” Yuri said, and Otabek’s eyes immediately wandered to Yuri’s moving pink lips. “You can do whatever you like from now. I’m all yours,” he breathed out.

Otabek wanted to smile at that but he couldn’t. Nerves and hesitation were playing tricks on him. What if he was screwing this up? But then he saw the pure joy and happiness on Yuri’s face, and it suddenly felt like someone had turned that switch in his head after all.

No, Yuri wasn’t just anyone and yes, he was special. Yuri was special for so many different reason, one of them simply was the fact that he wanted Otabek. They both wanted this, them. It wasn’t one-sided anymore.

Otabek stroked Yuri’s hair once more and gently placed his hand at the back of his head. He carefully pulled Yuri towards him, their other hands still holding on to each other in his lap. As soon as their lips met, every function in Otabek’s brain flatlined. There was nothing left but Yuri.

Yuri’s leg warm against his, Yuri’s hand in his squeezing tight, Yuri’s hair in his hand soft and shiny, and most importantly Yuri’s lips pressed hotly against his.

Now that there was no cold surrounding them and no thick layers of hoodies, jackets and scarves covering them, there was time to explore, to find out what felt good and what they liked. It all started with one set of lips on another but that was only the beginning.

Yuri pushed himself forward and a little up when Otabek’s hand went down to his neck, holding him in place there. If it was intentional or not, Otabek didn’t know but Yuri’s lips parted slightly and there was the tiniest of moans audible. Otabek certainly didn’t mind.

The kiss was still slow but open-mouthed now. They both gently sucked on each other’s lips, and took their time to enjoy the feel of their lips together. It was a sensation Otabek wasn’t familiar with. He had kissed his fair share of people but never quite like this, never like it meant so much.

They were both being cautious, both afraid of doing something wrong, but ultimately Otabek was surprised how easy it all was. Kissing Yuri felt so incredibly normal to the point where Otabek seriously wondered why they just started doing it now, after four years of being best friends, but he knew that good things came to those who wait.

Yuri certainly was a good thing that Otabek didn’t know he had been waiting for.

Eventually Otabek pulled back. He let his tongue slide over his bottom lip as if to relish the taste of Yuri for just a moment longer before he bit down on it, thinking about how he was going to actually say what was ghosting through his mind.

“You’re staying here,” he whispered shyly, “with me tonight, right?”

When Yuri answered his question with another one of his beaming smiles, Otabek knew there had been no need to worry.

“Hmm, let me think about that,” Yuri joked but the smile didn’t fade. “So my choices are either the couch and a snoring Maxim, the guest bedroom and sheets covered in God only knows what, or your bedroom and _you_? I don’t think I’ve ever decided anything as easily as this,” Yuri said grinning before he pressed another quick kiss to Otabek’s temple and got up. “Let’s go throw everyone out. I want to go to bed.”

Yuri dragged him away to the living room and panic suddenly made itself known in Otabek’s stomach, simply because he still didn’t know what Yuri expected to happen. Did he expect anything to happen? Were they, was _he_ , ready? Everything was happening so fast and even though Otabek was sure he wanted it all, there was still a thin veil of hesitation surrounding him.

They may have planned to kick everyone out but as soon as they were back on the couch, Yuri’s legs flung over Otabek’s lap, they were too busy laughing and enjoying everyone’s company. Otabek even forgot his grudge towards Ezra and the underlying disappointment and betrayal he had felt when he looked at Asel earlier. He hadn’t forgiven either of them, but he realised that staying mad at them wasn’t doing anyone any favour either.

It was another hour, give or take, of more embarrassing stories, lots of laughter and teasing comments. Maxim had even woken up for a few minutes to go to the bathroom only to come back and pass out again. At some point Otabek noticed Yuri’s hand reaching up to rest on his chest, his head on Otabek’s shoulder, before he started yawning.

“Do you want to go to bed now?” Otabek asked him quietly, and Yuri nodded immediately in response.

Otabek could see how small Yuri’s eyes had gotten. He obviously had trouble keeping them open, exhaustion finally setting in. Yuri’s cheek on his shoulder was incredibly hot, another sign that Yuri was definitely ready to get some sleep, and Otabek really couldn’t deny that he was too.

“Alright guys,” Otabek said and Yuri immediately shifted in his lap, “you’re more than welcome to crash here but Yuri and I are off to bed.” As soon as he had said that, Yuri put his feet on the ground and his hands to his face, rubbing it slightly in an attempt to stay awake at least for a little while longer.

Much to Otabek’s surprise, no one made any inappropriate or mocking comments, which he was actually grateful for. He stood up and offered Yuri his hand which the blonde took immediately.

“I think we’re heading home,” Ezra then said, his voice small, and Otabek feared that was because he felt unwelcomed, even though Otabek had just said that they could all stay if they wanted to.

Ezra was clearly talking about him and Alisur, since they were living together, but Asel got up as well.

“Ok,” Otabek said and he hoped desperately that it didn’t sound like he was glad about it because he did feel bad about everything that had happened. “Can you please make sure Asel gets home alright?” he added then quickly, looking at the twins.

The tiny nod Ezra gave him was a relief because it was accompanied by a small smile that Otabek was happy to see.

“Thanks, Beka,” Asel said quietly, her eyes were lowered to the floor.

Otabek then let go of Yuri’s hand and pulled her into a hug. He could feel how her body relaxed almost immediately. She grabbed the back of his t-shirt tightly and Otabek realised that she must have been incredibly worried, and scared, that he would stay mad at her. What she had done, lying to him for so many years about something that used to carry so much significance to him, had felt like utter betrayal, but the more he thought about it, the more Otabek came to understand that she did what she did because she cared about him. Otabek was disappointed but he wasn’t mad at her anymore.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Otabek said, smiling at Asel when he let go of her. She returned his smile and they walked together to the front door, his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist.

Otabek and Yuri said their goodbyes to the twins, Otabek even hugged Ezra, before they closed the door behind them and Asel.

“What about you two?” Otabek asked Temir and Meiz, who were snuggled up to each other on the sofa and clearly also on the edge of falling asleep.

“We’re staying,” Meiz mumbled.

Otabek didn’t know what he was supposed to think about the two of them hooking up. Meiz had always been so determined to stay away from Temir but she had obviously changed her mind. Only time ould tell if that was a good or a bad thing.

“You can have the guest bedroom,” Otabek told them before he put a blanket over Maxim’s sleeping body and quickly made sure that he was actually breathing.

“I just need to get my stuff out of there,” Yuri said before he walked away to do exactly that.

The way Temir and Meiz looked at Otabek then irked him a little bit. Their faces were impossible to read.

“What?” he eventually demanded to know, half afraid to find out the answer, half annoyed with them staring at him.

“Yuri is sleeping with you then?” Temir asked teasingly.

“He is staying in my room, sharing a bed with me, if that’s what you mean,” Otabek said, and that sense of panic suddenly returned.

Otabek turned the television and the music off as Yuri walked back into the living room, a tired smile on his face and Ginger in his arms. It was still one of the most breath-taking smiles he had ever seen on Yuri because it was so true and natural.

“By the way,” Otabek then said, looking at Temir and Meiz. “You two owe me a new set of sheets.”

“Of course, boss,” Temir mumbled sleepily and Otabek wondered if the two of them would even make it to the bedroom to lie down, but he had other things to concern himself with that were definitely more important.

* * * 

Otabek went to the bathroom first to get ready for bed. He lazily brushed his teeth and splattered his face with cold water more than once, but it didn’t seem to help. His nerves still wouldn’t calm down.

Stepping back into his bedroom, he found Ginger curled up on Yuri’s lap and Yuri already dressed in his pyjamas, if he could call it that. Otabek couldn’t hide the grin when he saw the shirt Yuri was wearing, which was his team Kazakhstan shirt that Otabek had sent Yuri the year before, after Yuri had spent some time with him during the off-season.

“You really brought that shirt?” Otabek asked with amusement in his voice.

Yuri was stroking Ginger lovingly behind her ears, but he did look up at Otabek when he heard his voice. There was a tired but kind of proud grin spreading across his face from one ear to the other.

“Victor and Katsuki told me to pack a bag for two nights. I wasn’t going to take your teddy bear anywhere so the shirt had to do,” Yuri then explained and carefully lifted Ginger off his lap.

He walked over to Otabek and put his hands at the back of Otabek’s neck, lightly scratching the soft hair there. Otabek automatically put his hands around Yuri’s waist.

“If I had known I was coming here and that I would end up in your bed, then maybe I would’ve left it at home,” he teased and then kissed Otabek briefly, before he let go and went into the bathroom. Yuri looked back over his shoulder and grinned once, closing the door quietly behind him.

Otabek had absolutely no idea why but the thought of Yuri still hugging his teddy bear when he had trouble sleeping was calming him down immensely. Maybe they both should’ve seen Yuri’s attachment to Otabek’s bear as a sign of where their, or at least Yuri’s feelings were headed, but it had been an easy sign to ignore.

By the time Yuri came back into the bedroom, his hair was obviously brushed. It fell down his sides and back in long smooth lines, a lot less wild than it had been before. Otabek already lay on his bed, head propped up on two fluffy pillows, his phone in his hand. He watched as Yuri stepped out of his sweatpants and walked over to the bed in nothing but his underwear and the t-shirt.

Otabek could feel his heartbeat picking up a notch when Yuri climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Yuri leaned down almost immediately and started kissing him. It was different than before but equally as amazing. This kiss picked up in pace quickly, it was hungry and needy, both of them panting in a matter of seconds because of its intensity.

The first time their tongues collided, Otabek’s entire body involuntarily shook. He had his hands between Yuri’s shoulder blades and he was sure Yuri felt him tremble. The way Yuri moved his tongue so expertly over Otabek’s lips and inside his mouth, caused his back to arch up a little bit, desperate to feel more of Yuri. The exhaustion that overcame Otabek not ten minutes earlier was suddenly washing away.

When they both had to break the kiss to get some air, Yuri leaned back up straight, Otabek’s hands sliding down to his bare thighs because of it. Yuri’s skin was firm and silken at the same time, an intoxicating mix that made Otabek want to discover more, see more, touch more.

Neither one of them spoke, neither one of them had to.

To Otabek, it felt much like eating yet another slice of apple pie when he already had two, or going over the speed limit when the streets were deserted, or staying up till 4am to finish that one incredible book when he had to be at the rink at 7am. Those were all things he knew he shouldn’t be doing, but he was doing them anyway. Kissing Yuri felt a lot like that.

Yuri took the hair tie that was bound around his wrist off and then grabbed his hair, twisted it a few times and propped it up on his head, securely fastening it with the hair tie. A few loose strands were hanging out here and there but Otabek suspected that was Yuri’s intention. When Yuri’s arms were up tying his hair together, his shirt went up a little as well, revealing more pale skin above the waistband of his briefs, and Otabek couldn’t resist the urge to look, to measure every inch of Yuri and commit it to memory.

Otabek’s distraction must have been fairly obvious, because once his hair was tied up, Yuri gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head agonisingly slowly. He dropped it on the floor next to the bed and Otabek knew he was staring immediately.

Yuri’s chest was smooth, not as defined as his, but absolutely divine, Otabek thought. His eyes moved upwards towards Yuri’s round and rosy nipples, and Otabek couldn’t stop himself from imagining how hard they would get if he were to let his tongue circle around them. Further up Otabek’s eyes settled on Yuri’s collarbones that stood out so prominently because Yuri was still fairly skinny. They were maybe a little too perfect and Otabek really wanted to do something to make them less perfect by leaving a mark or two there.

His imagination didn’t hold back but the rest of his brain didn’t seem to follow. Otabek didn’t know what was holding him back, but then Yuri put his hand on top of one of his and moved them both up over Yuri’s torso, coming to a halt just above Yuri’s heart. Otabek could feel Yuri watching him intently but the sensation of Yuri’s hot skin underneath his fingers was too overwhelming for him to be concerned with anything else.

Otabek then let his other hand wander up as well. His hands were exploring every patch of skin Yuri’s shirt had hidden before, only for them to get a hold of Yuri by the back of his neck again to pull him down into another needy kiss.

He only had a second to realise what he was doing when Otabek got a hold of Yuri and rolled them over, so he was the one on top, towering over Yuri between his legs. Their mouths didn’t separate. Teeth were clashing, tongues were fighting, lips got bitten, and Yuri didn’t waste any time grabbing Otabek’s shirt and pulling it up. As soon as Otabek got the hint he leaned back on his knees and took his shirt off entirely, Yuri’s hands all over him in an instant.

Leaning forward again, Otabek held himself up with one hand resting just above Yuri’s shoulder, while the other one found its way to the side of Yuri’s face, gently caressing his cheek.

They were both breathing heavily, desperate for more, but Otabek just stared like he was in trance. He just stared at Yuri’s face, at those wonderfully swollen lips, at his delicate nose, at his piercing blue-green eyes that were so incredibly easy to get lost in, and at his rosy cheeks. He had looked at Yuri millions of times, through laptop, phone and television screens, in magazines and photographs, and of course in person, but it had never quite felt like this before.

When Yuri slowly wrapped his legs around Otabek’s waist, ultimately pressing their bodies closer together, Otabek could feel very clearly that they were both already incredibly hard. Yuri had his hands around Otabek’s neck, pulling him down again, but that was obviously not the only thing Yuri wanted to do.

He rolled his hips and arched his back, pressing their painfully hard cocks together and even though multiple layers of clothing still separated them, Otabek thought he was going to lose his mind. As if Yuri were able to read his thoughts, he was teasing Otabek at the waistband of his own sweatpants. When they pulled apart for air, Yuri had a look in his eyes that already said enough. Otabek didn’t need to hear the question but Yuri still asked.

“Can I?” he asked, voice hoarse and needy, while he dipped one finger under Otabek’s waistband.

Otabek expected himself to be more hesitant but everything about Yuri was so intoxicating that he didn’t have a second to think. He nodded immediately and Yuri started pulling the sweatpants down. Otabek sat back up and Yuri loosened his legs from around his waist. Once the sweatpants reached Otabek’s knees he had to let go of Yuri entirely to slide them off completely.

As soon as he had removed them, Yuri’s hand was curled around his arm, demanding his attention again. Otabek returned to his place between Yuri’s legs where now only two thin layers of underwear were separating them.

They kissed again, hungrily and desperately. Yuri moved his hips and started to moan quietly into their kisses, probably as overwhelmed with everything that was happening as much as Otabek was. Yuri’s hands were exploring, leaving goose bumps on Otabek’s skin wherever they went.

Out of breath, Otabek started to leave a trail of kisses and nibbles down Yuri’s jaw to his ear, then down his neck and over to his throat where Yuri’s low growls became more and more intense.

When one of Yuri’s hands slipped underneath the waistband of Otabek’s underwear, cupped his butt and then squeezed tight, Otabek’s body automatically arched forward into Yuri’s groin. Surprised and with wide eyes, Otabek looked up at Yuri, who seemed to panic immediately.

“I’m sorry, Beka. I didn’t mean to. I…,” he stuttered, and instantly removed his hand from Otabek’s ass.

Otabek clearly saw the embarrassment and angst written all over Yuri’s face. It was the last thing Otabek ever wanted to see on his face when they were being this intimate with each other, so he kissed Yuri again, interrupting his unnecessary apology.

Yuri instantly relaxed again underneath him and Otabek couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

Their lengths were constantly brushing against each other as they kept kissing, their bodies moving with no particular intent other than to feel more of each other.

Otabek began kissing down over Yuri’s throat and wandered towards his collarbone, biting and sucking until he left that mark that he was determined to make there. Still keeping himself steady with one hand, the other one went down the side of Yuri’s torso while his mouth finally reached Yuri’s nipple.

Yuri’s legs were back around Otabek’s waist, but Otabek’s entire attention was focussed on that nipple. He licked and sucked teasingly before he bit down gently causing Yuri’s back to arch up into him. Yuri’s moans got louder and louder, spurring Otabek on even more.

He was about to make his way down even further when he suddenly noticed incoherent sounds coming from somewhere other than them.

Against his better judgement, and using the last tiny bit of willpower he had left, Otabek looked up at Yuri but the blonde seemed to be as clueless as him.

The noise got louder and Yuri raised his head a little, his arms still around Otabek’s neck, while Otabek looked back over his shoulder as if he could somehow see through the walls to see where the sounds were coming from.

All of a sudden it seemed to click. There were two different sounds, or rather two different voices, one lower, one higher. Otabek turned back around to face Yuri, whose eyes were as wide as his own.

“Oh my God,” Yuri said slowly, taking a breath after each word. “They have got to be kidding me,” he added hastily.

Yuri had barely finished speaking when the noise from the guest bedroom seemed to reach its peak. By then it was obvious that those voices belonged to Temir and Meiz. It seemed like they weren’t too tired to fool around either, only did they apparently get a lot further than Otabek and Yuri did.

Meiz was literally screaming for a second or two before her voice was muffled by what Otabek suspected was Temir’s hand over her mouth.

Otabek instantly let his body drop down onto Yuri’s, his head nuzzled into Yuri’s chest, while Yuri himself started laughing whole-heartedly. The entire situation was so surreal and absurd, and Otabek couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed for himself or for his friends, probably more for his friends.

Yuri wrapped his arms around Otabek, pressing Otabek’s ear even more into Yuri’s chest so he could hear, and feel, the laughter escaping Yuri’s body. It was a weird but oddly heart-warming experience for Otabek.

A minute or so later things seemed to have calmed down in the guest bedroom and Otabek slowly crawled off of Yuri to lie down next to him, his arm touching Yuri’s, and Yuri holding his hand.

“That sure killed the mood, didn’t it?” Yuri asked, amusement evident in his voice.

Otabek looked over to the side and smiled at Yuri. “I wish I could tell you tonight were the only two times I have ever heard Temir have sex,” he said and Yuri laughed again. It was music to Otabek’s ears.

Reaching down to grab the duvet, Otabek covered them both with it and Yuri curled up to his side. Yuri’s forehead was level with jaw, resting on his shoulder with one hand placed on his chest, and one leg tangled between his. Otabek put his arm around Yuri’s shoulders and pulled him in close.

They lay like that for a few minutes, their breathing even and controlled now.

“Can I ask you something?” Yuri suddenly asked without looking up.

Otabek was close to drifting off, his eyes already closed. He only managed a mumbled reply and Yuri took it as the permission Otabek had intended to get across. Feeling Yuri’s head lift then, Otabek opened his eyes again.

“Earlier, when you said you were scared,” he began hesitantly, “scared to want me. What exactly did you mean by that?”

When Otabek had said those words, he had a feeling that Yuri would ask him about it at some point. Saying it had been one thing, explaining it was a completely different thing.

“I just meant that,” Otabek started and then thought about he could best describe how he felt. “Wanting you, _being with you_ , puts our friendship at risk. I don’t even know what this is between us yet but what if it doesn’t work out? What if it ruins what we already have? I can’t lose you, Yura. Do you understand that?”

It was hard saying these things out loud. Putting those thoughts into actual words made them somewhat real.

“I do,” Yuri admitted. He brought a hand up to the side of Otabek’s face and brushed his thumb slowly over his cheek. “I get how you feel because I had those questions in Vancouver. Those doubts were the reason I didn’t want to tell you about my dream. I was terrified to lose you.”

Otabek’s fingers gently curled around Yuri’s wrist but he didn’t pull Yuri’s hand away from his face. It was more a gesture to let Yuri know that he was there for him.

“You’re not anymore?” Otabek asked curiously.

“I am,” Yuri immediately replied without missing a beat. “But the wish to be with you is so much stronger than any fear could ever be. I don’t want to have to pretend that I’m fine with just being your friend. I want to be more than that to you.”

Otabek leaned his head down slightly to press his lips against Yuri’s. It was a lazy kiss, yet full of unspoken affection and reassurance. It was exactly what they both needed.

* * * 

When Otabek woke up several hours later, it was already light inside his bedroom. The curtains were drawn but the sunshine forced its way inside anyway. Yuri’s back was pressed against his chest and Ginger was curled up in a tiny ball in front of Yuri.

Waking up like this with Yuri in his arms was certainly new, but it felt good. It even felt right.

Otabek slowly raised his arm off Yuri’s stomach, making sure not to wake him. When he got up from the bed, Yuri stirred a little in his sleep but he settled a second later. Making his way over to the bathroom, Otabek couldn’t stop himself from taking another look at Yuri, sleeping somewhat peacefully in his bed.

Like this Yuri looked so innocent and calm, two things he normally wasn’t. His shiny hair was a mess on his head but the features of his face were pure beauty, even the creases on his skin created by pressing his face into the pillow overnight. It was a sight Otabek never really imagined seeing, not in this context anyway.

He had a hard time comprehending what exactly had happened in the past 48 hours, but it somehow seemed so incredibly irrelevant when he was looking at Yuri. Otabek didn’t know what would happen now or how their relationship would change, yet every fibre of his body wanted to find out.

Otabek quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face. He felt more alive and certainly more awake in an instant. Walking back into the bedroom, Yuri was still sleeping and Otabek was tempted to let him sleep but it was already close to 10am and they would have to leave for the airport in five hours. Otabek wanted to use every minute he had with Yuri while he was still there.

He went over to him and sat down on the edge of the mattress. Yuri stirred again and Otabek slowly stroked his hair back, smiling down at Yuri when the blonde opened his eyes lazily.

“Hey,” Yuri whispered, his voice small and raspy with sleep.

Otabek leaned down and kissed his forehead, prompting a huge smile to spread across Yuri’s face.

“Hey,” Otabek echoed his words.

“Can I have more of that weird German cake for breakfast?” Yuri then asked, suddenly a little more awake.

Grinning now, Otabek said, “I’ll have a look if there’s any left.” He stood up and picked Ginger up in his arms as well. “Bathroom is all yours,” he told Yuri and pressed another kiss to the top of his head.

Otabek winked at Yuri and left the room.

When he walked into the living room, he suddenly remembered that they still had guests. Seeing the living room and the kitchen fairly tidy though, raised alarm bells because he certainly couldn’t remember cleaning up this much before they went to bed.

He knocked carefully on the guest bedroom and when he didn’t hear any response after he waited for a little while, he went inside only to find the pull-out sofa stripped of the sheets and already put back together. Otabek hadn’t seen Maxim in the living room either. Did they all leave already without him knowing?

Back in the kitchen, Otabek checked the fridge for Asel’s cake. He took the tray with the leftovers out and put it on the bar, where he found a note scribbled hastily in Temir’s handwriting.

 

_Thanks for everything, Beka. We owe you one._

_T, Meiz & Max_

 

If anything, that note proved that Otabek’s friends weren’t all such idiots after all. They may be a handful but they were something steady in his life he could always rely on.

He looked around the room and it certainly seemed like the three of them had cleaned up a bit. The coffee table was entirely empty (and wiped much to his surprise), someone had even washed the shot glasses, plates and bowls they had used. An array of empty bottles was stacked on top of the bar and a huge black binbag was filled with all sorts of empty crisps bags and other containers. Otabek was a little impressed, he had to admit.

The kettle was boiling by the time Yuri walked in. He had put his shirt back on as well as a pair of sweatpants, but his feet were bare.

Otabek poured the hot water into the mugs and then got two plates out of the cabinet. When he sliced two pieces of cake for them, Yuri came up behind him, arms wrapped around his waist and his chest pressed against his back.

Yuri was kissing along his shoulder blades which turned out to be a massive distraction for Otabek. He had a hard time concentrating on the cake when Yuri’s soft lips were leaving burn marks on his skin.

Otabek didn’t know how but he did manage to get two slices of cake onto the plates. He turned around in Yuri’s embrace and looked at him.

“Hey,” he said again. “Hey,” came Yuri’s immediate reply, a smile curling around his lips.

Before Otabek knew it, he was kissing Yuri, hot and heavy, needy and desperately. It was nothing like the kisses they had shared so far. It had the tenderness of their first kiss but the urgency of the later ones.

Yuri’s hands were already gripping the hem of Otabek’s shirt when Otabek let his own hand wander under Yuri’s shirt, now more willing and less hesitant to explore, without Yuri prompting him to do so.

Then one thing lead to another in the blink of an eye.

“I want you, Beka,” Yuri whispered in Otabek’s ear, and everything began to spin. “All of you.”

Otabek could barely comprehend how he managed to drag Yuri back to his bedroom but he did.

Yuri pulled off Otabek’s shirt in a hurry and pushed him down on the bed. Otabek’s knees bent where they hit the mattress and he watched as Yuri yanked his own shirt off.

Closing his eyes for only a second because everything just happened so fast, Otabek was surprised to find Yuri on his knees in front of the bed, in front of _him_. Otabek’s legs were gently pushed apart and Yuri scooted a little closer to him.

Otabek could feel his breathing getting heavy when Yuri’s fingers curled around the waistband of his sweatpants. He was watching Yuri intently, unconsciously wondering if all of this was really happening. He couldn’t look away.

Yuri seemed so determined to move on but something was obviously holding him back. The look in his eyes was eager and equally anxious, Otabek thought.

“Are you ok with this?” Yuri then finally asked, and Otabek realised that Yuri was nervous _for_ him, not because of him.

“Yeah,” Otabek whispered loud enough for Yuri to hear.

That was all the permission Yuri needed before he pulled Otabek’s sweatpants down as fast as he could. Otabek raised his ass a little bit to help Yuri out but other than that, it was all Yuri and he seemed to love it if the smile on his face was anything to go by.

“Kiss me,” Otabek breathed out, desperate for Yuri’s touch, for his lips, and Yuri did as he was asked to.

He got up from the floor and towered over Otabek, pressing his lips hungrily to Otabek’s. It was a little slower this time but just as demanding as before. Their tongues teased each other endlessly, fighting over who gets to explore first.

Yuri held himself up with one hand while the other one was leaving a trail of tingling flesh on its way down to Otabek’s groin.

Otabek hadn’t felt like that in quite some time. Everything about Yuri was intoxicating but especially the way he seemed to know already where and how he had to touch Otabek to see him come completely undone.

It was impossible to not moan out in pleasure when Yuri’s palm cupped his cock over his underwear, and Otabek involuntarily had to break their kiss because of it. He was panting but he pressed Yuri’s forehead to his own, holding the blonde by the back of his neck.

“Do you want me to stop?” Yuri asked, and Otabek couldn’t decide if he was serious or just teasing. Both were valid possibilities Otabek wouldn’t put past Yuri.

“No,” Otabek choked out, and then added, “condoms are somewhere in the nightstand drawer.” Hesitation and doubt were suddenly incredibly foreign concepts to Otabek. He just wanted more of Yuri, in whatever way Yuri was willing to give himself to him.

Otabek could feel Yuri smiling when he pulled him down for another kiss, that immediately prompted Yuri’s hand to move again. It was senseless to deny that he was incredibly turned on, evident by the bulge that Yuri currently had under his hand, but Otabek didn’t worry anyway. Yuri’s touch felt too good to keep wondering whether or not this was actually right.

Yuri started slowly kissing down Otabek’s jaw, then over to his neck and down his throat. It was pure torture but Otabek cherished every second of it.

“You’re clean, right?” Yuri whispered against the hollow of his throat.

Otabek barely heard the question since lust had already taken him so far away but once it did register with him, confusion was his immediate response.

“What? Yes,” he said, irritated by why Yuri would bring this up.

“Then I don’t need a condom,” Yuri replied.

Before Otabek had a chance to argue, Yuri sucked one of his nipples and his mind went blank. Adding to that was Yuri’s hand that kept ghosting over his cock ever so lightly, that Otabek was afraid he was going crazy.

Yuri tongue went further down, leaving a wet trail against Otabek’s hot skin and once he reached Otabek’s crotch, Yuri was back on his knees between his legs. He curled all of his fingers around the waistband of Otabek’s underwear and then looked up.

Otabek’s mind was clouded with want but he saw the expectant look on Yuri’s face, and he nodded, urging Yuri to go on.

Yuri pulled Otabek’s underwear down but only so far as to have the access he needed. He gently put his fingers around Otabek’s cock and Otabek watched as Yuri’s tongue licked his entire length from base to top in one go.

It was Otabek’s undoing.

He wanted to keep watching but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It felt too surreal to even begin to comprehend what Yuri was doing to him. Otabek could feel Yuri’s mouth on him next, swollen lips on his soft flesh. It was intoxicating and a lot to take in.

Otabek was gripping the bedsheets when he heard Yuri spit into his own hand, only to feel the wetness around his dick a moment later, but then Yuri curled his lips around the tip of his cock and Otabek thought he saw stars.

Yuri moved his hand up and down, stroking Otabek’s length in a steady rhythm while his mouth was doing unspeakable things to the most sensitive part, the tip. His tongue was sliding over the slit teasingly.

Otabek had a feeling that Yuri knew exactly what he was doing to him, how it affected him and how much he enjoyed it.

Picking up the pace, Yuri’s hand moved a little faster and every time it went down, Yuri’s mouth seemed to take in more of the rest. Otabek could feel Yuri hollow his cheeks to be able to take most of his length in one go.

Other people have done this to Otabek before, but everything felt different with Yuri. It felt better, a million times better.

Yuri was sucking hard, his hand and mouth now moving in unison in a steady but fast pace, and Otabek recognised that familiar feeling of an oncoming orgasm pool in his stomach.

He was never much into talking during sex, but he couldn’t keep his pleasure silent either. Quiet but intense moans escaped him and Yuri seemed to take that as encouragement, as he started to speed things up yet again. Keeping his hips still was agonising but he knew he wouldn’t do Yuri any favours if he were to push up into him.

It didn’t take too long for Otabek to reach the edge. He gripped Yuri’s hair and tugged lightly, indicating that he was close but Yuri wouldn’t budge, staying where he was.

“Yura,” Otabek warned him again only for Yuri to stroke him even more eagerly.

That was all it took for Yuri to bring Otabek over the edge. Yuri’s mouth was still on his cock but he couldn’t help himself, he was moving his hips and riding that wave of intense pleasure. Thankfully Yuri didn’t seem to mind as he kept sucking his cock and swallowing every drop Otabek was giving him.

Once Otabek had calmed down and stopped moving so much, Yuri let go of his cock and Otabek immediately whined, a little pathetically he thought, at the loss of warmth surrounding him. Yuri quickly made up for it though by pressing his entire body down on his.

Yuri stroked Otabek’s hair gently, almost absent-mindedly, and Otabek had to chuckle when he saw the massive grin playing around Yuri’s swollen lips.

Otabek wrapped his arms around Yuri’s delicate frame and kissed him, this time lazily and a lot less urgently than before.

“You’re pleased with yourself,” Otabek mused once they broke apart.

It was a statement, not a question and Yuri responded with another huge smile. “Hell yes,” he said triumphantly, kissing Otabek’s forehead.

Otabek was drawing imaginary circles on Yuri’s back, still on the high of this blissful orgasm that Yuri was responsible for, but he definitely noticed Yuri’s arousal pressing against him.

“Can I take care of you now?” Otabek asked seductively, and as soon as he said those words, a desperate urge to wrap his own lips around Yuri’s dick and seeing him writher underneath his touch overcame him, so much stronger than he expected.

Yuri kept stroking his hair, and he seemed in no hurry to do something about his own erection.

“I want cake,” Yuri said, lifting himself up from Otabek, and all Otabek could really do was stare at Yuri in confusion and surprise.

With Yuri standing in front of him, Otabek was suddenly very aware that he was still basically naked, so he hastily pulled his underwear up and sat back up straight on the bed. Yuri only grinned at him with one eyebrow raised.

“Let’s eat and then we can do whatever you want,” Yuri said, before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Otabek’s head. Otabek noticed that Yuri seemed to really like doing that.

Yuri was out of the room before Otabek could even say anything in response. It gave him a minute to think about how crazy this visit had been. When he picked Yuri up at the airport two nights before, he certainly didn’t expect for things to go this way, but the more he thought about it the more he thought he should have seen it coming. They’ve been best friends for four years, there was no one else in the world Otabek would drop everything for in an instant and put his life on hold just to be by their side. Perhaps he had always felt more than friendship for Yuri but was too afraid, or just too clueless, to acknowledge those feelings and do something about them.

Surely this visit pushed him more than anything. If it hadn’t been for Ezra wanting to make out with Yuri, Otabek might still be left standing in the shadows, unaware of how he really felt about Yuri. Wait, was Yuri kissing Ezra actually a good thing? Otabek wanted to curse. In hindsight, it seemed like Otabek should be thankful this hideous make-out session happened, otherwise he’d probably still be pining after Yuri without even knowing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the final chapter... yaaaay! Finally... I'm sure you guys are as sick of waiting for the end as I am. Haha! 
> 
> Yuri and Otabek both have some questions in the last chapter, and both have some answers.


	6. Keep Your Heart Strong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Yuri's imminent departure back to St. Petersburg is looming over them, Otabek decides to bare his soul and Yuri has an epiphany himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still following this story, congratulations! You made it to the end... that I promised like 3 times before already, but here we are. ;) Like I mentioned previously, this story was supposed to be a one-shot of 8K or so. Now we're at 40K and 6 chapters, which was definitely not the plan but this story has kind of gotten away from me. 8 pages of notes (including a freaking layout of Otabek's apartment, and short descriptions and backgrounds for all of Otabek's friends!) and various ideas for chapter titles later, the end is finally here. For now anyway...
> 
> This chapter starts off a bit heavy in terms of angst (tw: discussion of illness and suicide) but fluff follows before it finishes with lots of smut, so hopefully this will make up for it.
> 
> A little info about the song Otabek wrote, and played for Yuri in the first chapter. I based it on the song "Don't Worry About Me" by Frances. If you really want to torture yourself, find that song on youtube or spotify and listen to it when you read the first bit of this chapter. You'll know when you can turn it off again. Obviously you don't have to listen to the song but it just makes it all so much better (and by that I mean worse). Take it as a suggestion or a challenge, whichever you prefer. ;)

Otabek moved to the middle of the bed, near the headboard just before Yuri came back with the two plates with cake that Otabek had prepared for them earlier. Yuri handed him the plates and left wordlessly again, only to reappear a moment later with two steaming hot mugs of tea. He put them down on some coasters that Otabek kept on his nightstand (and Otabek literally wanted to punch himself… who kept coasters on their nightstand?), and then climb on top of the bed.

Yuri sat down between Otabek’s legs, facing him with his legs on either side of Otabek’s hip. They were both still shirtless but Otabek had put his sweatpants back on.

Handing Yuri one of the plates, Otabek smiled affectionately and pushed some of Yuri’s hair back behind his ear.

“You really have a thing for my hair,” Yuri said amused and then started to eat his cake.

Irritated, Otabek asked, “do you want me to stop?”

Yuri was chewing a mouthful of cake but he swiftly shook his head, then swallowed and said, “what? Heck no.”

He leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to Otabek’s lips to emphasise his answer. Otabek’s hand immediately reached up to get a hold of Yuri’s neck, pulling him back for a longer and deeper kiss, that Yuri then pulled away from breathing heavily.

“Wow,” he exhaled and Otabek could only smirk at that. Wow, indeed.

They ate in silence before Yuri spoke up again. “Can I ask you something?” he asked with such obvious hesitation in his voice that Otabek was unsure for a second if he really should say yes, but he did.

“That song you played for me yesterday morning, the one with Asel singing, what’s the story behind it? I asked Asel about it but she told me to ask you.”

Yuri clearly wanted to know more if he had quizzed Asel about it, and even though Otabek hated talking, and even thinking about it, he realised that the thought of telling Yuri wasn’t that scary at all.

“I told you the song is about a friend who committed suicide, right?” Otabek asked calmly, and quietly. He found himself looking at Yuri and the pure colour of his eyes was strangely relaxing. Yuri nodded and Otabek continued. “Temir had a sister, Sofia. She was my age, so a year younger than Temir.” This was harder than Otabek thought after all. “Me, Sofia, Temir and Asel were inseparable. It was creepy, Yura. We did everything together. Only once in a blue moon did people find either one of us alone somewhere. We were connected by the hip,” he said, eyes cast downwards, his plate long forgotten by his side on the bed. “I had a massive crush on Sofia and when she had a party for her 17th birthday, I decided to do something about it. I can’t remember how we ended up in her room but we eventually started kissing and she told me that she had been crushing on me for a while as well. We started dating from that moment on. I had never felt about anyone the way I felt about her. When I looked at her, the world seemed to stand still. The way she smiled and laughed was so pure. She was the complete opposite of Temir,” Otabek chuckled sadly and when he looked up he saw a lonely tear running down Yuri’s cheek.

He immediately brushed it away, scared and afraid, wondering why Yuri was reacting this way. “Why are you crying, Yura?”

Yuri huffed out a puff of air and attempted to smile but it was obviously forced. “I just have a feeling I know where this story is going. That’s all,” he said, waving away Otabek’s concern. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Yuri added quickly and Otabek knew he meant it.

“No, I want to,” Otabek replied just as quickly, and he realised that he really did want to tell Yuri the rest. It was such a massive part of his life, as was Yuri. He should know.

“We had been dating for three months or so,” Otabek began again, “when Sofia got sick. It happened from one day to the next and no one knew what was happening. It was terrifying. She spent so much time at the hospital. Temir, Asel and I also spent countless nights there, in those crappy and uncomfortable chairs, trying to sleep just to be with her. It was awful. I missed so much practice because I wanted to be with her, and I didn’t even care. I had lost all my passion for the ice. Asel and Temir didn’t cope well either. They got reckless, drinking and sleeping around because it took the edge off. It was the only way they managed to distract themselves.”

He had to stop to collect his thoughts. As long as Otabek didn’t talk about those things, they couldn’t get to him but putting them into words for Yuri made it all feel like it just happened a week ago.

“Things got worse really quickly for Sofia. Her entire body started shutting down but there she was, worried about us. Every time we saw her, she was asking us if we were alright. She was concerned about how we were dealing with everything while she was dying in front of our eyes,” Otabek said, his own tears now falling freely.

“I wrote the song for her. I wanted her to know that we were there for her, no matter what was going to happen, and that she didn’t have to worry about us. When I asked Asel to record the vocals, she broke down after we finished recording. Temir had to pick her up off the floor and carry her to the couch so she could lie down. She cried for ages, nothing would calm her. She fell asleep hours later with her head in Temir’s lap and her legs in mine. Asel has grown into this freakishly strong and hard-headed woman but to me she’s still the 16-year old girl that fell apart recording this song.”

Otabek brushed his own tears away. If he could at least pretend they weren’t there, he could pretend they hadn’t been there when all of this had actually happened either.

“Sofia had stage IV breast cancer that had already spread to her lungs and bones when the doctors diagnosed it. They didn’t give her long to live so she decided to leave the hospital against the doctors’ recommendations. We played the song for her the second day she was back home, and that was the first time we saw her crying since she had fallen ill. It was horrible, Yura,” Otabek said, reaching out to wrap his arms around Yuri’s waist. Yuri pulled him forward and put his arms around his shoulders, holding on tight. Otabek hid his face in Yuri’s neck, the memories suddenly too overwhelming to suppress.

Otabek let Yuri just hold him for a little while. The feeling of Yuri’s arms around him comforting him until he calmed down a little bit. He talked about all of this so rarely that whenever he did, everything got overwhelming really fast and he couldn’t control himself anymore. The memories hurt, even after all these years but having Yuri with him now made it at least bearable.

“Three days later Temir knocked on my door late at night sobbing, his eyes red and swollen. He didn’t even have to say anything. I just had to look at him and I knew what had happened. That moment felt like someone pulled out the entire foundation my life was built on in one quick motion. I was falling and didn’t know how to stop,” Otabek said, his forehead pressed against Yuri’s.

“Sofia took an overdose of her pain medication. Her body went into shock and eventually gave up. I don’t know why but I had a feeling she would do something like that. She was too stubborn to let anyone or anything else besides herself dictate how she was going to die. She needed it to be her choice. She just made that choice a little sooner than I expected.”

He had to stop again to catch his breath. Otabek had barely noticed how his breathing had gotten heavy and uneven. He concentrated on it getting steady again before he continued.

“The day of the funeral, Temir, Asel and I all got a small package in the post. We have no idea when she did it, but Sofia had put boxes together for all of us with things that she had collected over the years. Movie stubs, concert tickets, polaroid photos, CDs, all sorts of things. Those were her memories of us and she wanted us to have them. One of the things in my box was the recording of the song we gave her with a note on it that said ‘I hope you find someone else who worries about you as much as I always worried about you.’”

Through his own wet eyelashes, Otabek saw Yuri crying as well. It had been six years but the pain still felt as fresh and raw as it did back then.

“I threw myself back into skating after that, went to America and Canada to train and pushed myself until I started to forget. I took such a nasty fall one day that my coach yelled at me in front of all my rink mates. I broke down in the locker room and realised that I wasn’t even close to forgetting. I had just ignored everything that had happened because I was too afraid to deal with it. Two years later my parents urged me to come back to Almaty. I got this apartment, a new coach, reconnected with Temir, Asel and the others, and then I met you in Barcelona,” Otabek finally finished his story.

He managed a small smile when he looked at Yuri then. There was something in Yuri’s eyes Otabek was sure he had never seen before. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was but it was beautiful. It was a subtle glistering that stirred something inside him that suddenly put a lot of things in perspective.

“This is why I’m so terrified of losing you. Sofia and I were friends since kindergarten, then we started dating and everything went downhill from there. I know it’s stupid and far-fetched but I just can’t lose you, Yura. I don’t think I could deal with this a second time. Not now that I… I’m falling for you so hard and so fast, it’s scaring me,” Otabek confessed.

He felt Yuri’s tear-stained lips on his a second later. Otabek put everything into this kiss that he couldn’t bring himself to say. He tried to tell Yuri everything he needed to know with this kiss, because he didn’t know how to form the words to actually say those things out loud.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Yuri eventually whispered when they pulled apart.

Yuri brushed Otabek’s tears away and then leaned over to the side to grab the mugs. He passed the one with milk and honey to Otabek and then took a sip from his own tea. Otabek found that the tea had perfect drinking temperature now, and he relished the feeling of the warm tea running through his emotionally drained body.

“Thanks,” he mumbled with his lips around the rim of the mug.

“I have another question for you,” Yuri eventually said when he had put both teas back down on the nightstand. Yuri picked his plate back up and asked, “where did Asel learn to make this German cake thingy?”

Otabek huffed immediately and smiled, grateful for the change in topic.

“She used to live in Germany,” he told Yuri. “Seriously?” was the blonde’s immediate reaction.

“While I was in Canada, her dad got transferred there for a year, and Asel and her younger sister went with him,” Otabek explained.

“What about their mother?” Yuri asked curiously. “Left when Asel was four,” Otabek replied.

“Oh,” was all Yuri could bring himself to say to that.

Otabek could understand Yuri’s short response. “Don’t worry. She’s very close with her dad, much like you and your grandpa were,” he said, and only then realised what he had said. “I’m sorry,” Otabek immediately added, reaching for Yuri’s thigh.

“It’s alright,” Yuri said, a small smile on his lips, “I just miss him a lot.”

“I know,” Otabek reassured him. He could see that Yuri wanted to ask something but he didn’t want to push him. Otabek waited for Yuri to speak up. “Does it ever get easier?” Yuri wondered, his voice small.

“No,” Otabek said immediately and watched Yuri’s eyes grow wide in surprise, or shock, “but you learn to live with it.”

Otabek reached out and grabbed Yuri’s hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He wanted to distract Yuri from the memories of his grandpa because he, obviously, knew how hard it was to deal with them.

“I remember the first time Asel forced me to make this cake with her,” Otabek said, pushing more of said cake onto his fork. “She threw all these instructions at me in German and Temir just sat there at her kitchen table staring at us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so shell-shocked.”

Otabek had to chuckle remembering the incident. He could still see Temir’s face in front of him whenever he thought about that afternoon.

“Hang on,” Yuri said, holding up his fork, “you speak German? Since when?”

“I had a German rink mate in Canada,” Otabek replied like it was no big deal but he knew why Yuri was so surprised.

“So you made me watch that awful film with subtitles the other night while you actually understood what the hell they were saying?” Yuri asked, pretending to be offended.

Otabek licked some cake off his fork and smirked at Yuri before he replied. “Precisely.”

“Unbelievable,” Yuri mumbled under his breath, shoving another piece of cake into his mouth.

“Can I ask you something now?” Otabek then wanted to know, grabbing his tea again.

Yuri nodded immediately, chewing his cake enthusiastically.

“Why did you switch your tequila with water last night?” Otabek asked. He had been wondering about this since Yuri had shoved the bottle into his chest that he ultimately smashed against the wall.

Yuri held up two fingers and then swallowed down some cake. “Two reasons,” he began to explain. “One, I saw that your bottle had already been opened before the others got here, so naturally I wanted to know what that was all about. And what do you know, the peach schnapps was gone and replaced with water.”

Otabek couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He knew Yuri was observant but not _that_ observant.

“You chucked your tequila out because I wasted my schnapps?” he snickered.

“Two,” Yuri said then, seemingly ignoring Otabek’s question. “I planned on doing that with my tequila anyway. Do you really think I would’ve picked the cheapest shit at the store if I wanted to drink it? I don’t think so,” Yuri explained, smirking. “I didn’t want to get wasted in front of you again. Last time was embarrassing enough.”

Otabek knew instantly what Yuri meant by that. When Yuri had visited during the last off-season, a drinking game with Temir had gotten out of hand incredibly quickly and Otabek had ended up holding Yuri’s hair back while he vomited his guts out.

“Any other questions?” Yuri asked, putting the last forkful of cake into his mouth, while Otabek couldn’t hide the massive grin on his face. Yuri was freaking adorable when he was embarrassed.

“One,” Otabek burst out, remembering something he had been wondering about from the beginning of the party. “Ok, shoot,” Yuri said, putting his plate on the nightstand.

“As soon as the twins arrived last night, you went out on the balcony with Asel and Ezra. What was that all about?” Otabek asked, intrigued.

Yuri was blushing almost immediately, which was definitely not the reaction Otabek had expected. He cleared his throat and then looked up.

“I told them that I want to be with you,” Yuri confessed, and Otabek was stunned. “Why?” he croaked out.

Yuri grabbed the empty mug out of Otabek’s hands and put it with the rest of the dirty dishes to the side.

“Because I wanted Ezra to know that he had no shot at getting with me, and Asel was moral support I suppose,” Yuri said shrugging his shoulders.

“So that’s how Asel knew,” Otabek mumbled without realising it until Yuri nudged his arm playfully and asked, “knew what?”

Otabek thought _he_ was blushing now but thankfully it was barely visible thanks to his naturally tanned skin. “When I was in the storage room with Asel for my dare, I told her that I didn’t know what you really wanted from me. She said that you want me,” Otabek told Yuri and Yuri’s eyes were sparkling in amusement. “She said she could see that just by looking at us but if you told her…”

Yuri was lazily reaching out for Otabek’s hands and then remarked, “she said the same thing to me when I told her.”

They both just looked at each other and started bursting into laughter. Maybe their behaviour had been an indicator to how they felt about each other. They just didn’t know it.

“One more thing,” Otabek then said, his hands wandering up to Yuri’s hips. “If Ezra knew how you felt about me, why did he pick you for his dare?”

“I didn’t know he was going to do that,” Yuri said and it sounded like he was telling the truth. “Maybe he thought he should make the most of the only shot he would ever get to kiss me, and I figured it was a good way to find out if you did have feelings for me or not.”

Yuri looked down, perhaps a little ashamed, but Otabek found himself surprisingly relaxed about the whole situation now.

“That was quite risky, Yura,” he warned and then leaned forward to press a brief kiss to Yuri’s lips, “but it was worth it.”

Otabek could feel Yuri smiling into the kiss. Things got heated very quickly from there when Otabek’s hands wandered over Yuri’s bare chest, twisting his nipples. The way Yuri yelped out in pleasure, just encouraged Otabek even more to really give Yuri all of him.

“Take off your clothes,” he mumbled into the kiss and Yuri willingly leaned back.

Watching Yuri untangle himself so he could get rid of his sweatpants and underwear was mesmerising. Yuri managed to make even that look elegant and graceful. He was back in an instant, his hands hungrily grabbing at Otabek’s own sweatpants.

Otabek though was too busy staring. Yuri may have acted like this was nothing but seeing him completely naked for the first time was a little overwhelming. Otabek thought he heard Yuri laughing but it sounded so distant. Only when Yuri actually wrapped his hands around the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling teasingly, did Otabek shake himself out of his momentary daze.

“If I’m getting naked, you’re getting naked,” was Yuri’s comment and Otabek couldn’t really argue with that.

He lifted his butt off of the mattress and Yuri almost yanked the two annoying pieces of clothing off him. Only a second later was Yuri back in his lap, straddling him. Otabek’s hands flew up into Yuri’s hair immediately, pulling him in for a frantic kiss because the feelings of their hard dicks rubbing together definitely fuelled his lust.

Their teeth were clashing but neither of them cared. Lips got bit and sucked, tongues got pushed back and mouths were explored.

Yuri’s long hair was falling down his back and it was so easy for Otabek to get lost in the golden mane, relishing the feeling of it slipping through his fingers. Yuri’s chest collided with his when Otabek angled his knees and pulled his legs up a bit, causing Yuri to be pushed forward. This gave Otabek perfect access to Yuri’s throat and collarbone where Otabek immediately left more marks.

He never thought he was the possessive type but when it came to Yuri, he discovered quite a few sides of himself he wasn’t too familiar with before.

Yuri propped his elbows up on Otabek’s shoulder, pushing incredibly close so that Otabek could feel his hard, and already leaking cock pressed against his stomach. The sight of Yuri’s flushed dick made him nervous and equally excited about what was undoubtedly going to happen next.

Otabek’s fingers were itching to feel Yuri’s perfect ass in his hand, but he wasn’t going to go there unless Yuri wanted him to.

“What do you want to do, Yura?” Otabek mumbled against Yuri’s lips, one hand holding Yuri steady by his hips, the other one wrapped around his waist, resting on the small of his back.

Instead of answering, Yuri grabbed his wrist and moved Otabek’s hand down exactly where Otabek had wanted them to be. Yuri pressed down on Otabek’s fingers between his butt cheeks, which in turn caused them both to moan out loudly.

Otabek desperately wanted to touch Yuri, sink his fingers inside him, make him writher under his touch, but Yuri seemed so far gone already, he wasn’t sure if Yuri knew what he was doing.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked because he couldn’t help but be concerned.

He saw Yuri swallow hard and then lean back a little. Yuri’s pupils were blown wide but his eyes were clear. Yuri knew what he was doing.

“Full disclosure,” Yuri said, his breath coming out hitched and his hands holding on to Otabek by the nape of his neck. “I’ve never actually had sex.”

Otabek immediately pulled his hand back from Yuri’s ass. “What? But you drank last night when that stupid cock licking comment came up.”

“I know,” Yuri immediately shot back. “I’ve done stuff with people but I never actually let anyone touch _me_. No one’s ever seen me completely naked.”

Otabek’s eyebrows retreated further up his forehead the longer Yuri spoke. How could this possibly be true?

“Then why me, Yura? Why take that step with me now?” Otabek wanted to know. He felt honoured but actually more horrified that Yuri decided to go all the way with him. It put an immense amount of pressure on him.

“Because,” Yuri said, stroking the side of Otabek’s face, “the way I feel about you, I’ve never felt about anyone. I trust you, Beka. I trust that you stop if I were to say no. I know you would never hurt me.”

Otabek’s heart was dangerously close to flatline from beating too fast.

“But this is a massive deal, Yura,” Otabek couldn’t help but say. “We don’t have to do this right now, or you could fuck me if you want. That might be a bit easier for now I think…”

He probably would have rambled on with other possibilities and suggestions of what they could do but Yuri interrupted him with a finger on his lips.

“Beka,” he said lovingly, and Otabek wanted to melt away, “I want this. I want _you_.”

Yuri kissed him then, slowly in a way that indicated that Yuri enjoyed every second of this.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Otabek mumbled into the kiss, his mind still preoccupied with what Yuri is asking of him.

Smiling, Yuri confessed, “I may not have let anyone else touch me so far but I do touch myself, Beka. It’s not going to be a completely new experience to have something up my arse.”

Otabek couldn’t help but bury his face in Yuri’s chest at that, trying very hard not to laugh but he couldn’t hide the chuckle bubbling out of him. Yuri’s arms were wrapped around him, holding on tight, and Otabek could feel the vibrations in Yuri’s chest when the blonde laughed at his reaction.

“It’s going to fine, Beka. In fact, I bet it’s going to be incredible as long as you have lube,” Yuri said mockingly, grabbing Otabek’s face by the sides and lifting his head, kissing him again, hard and needy.

“Nightstand,” Otabek managed to choke out through their kiss.

Yuri leaned over and opened the drawer. He got the blue bottle of lube out but left the condoms in there.

“Condoms, Yura,” Otabek said when he saw that Yuri closed the drawer without one in his hand.

“No need,” Yuri immediately shot back, grabbing his face again, and sucking at his bottom lip.

Otabek wouldn’t let it slide that easily though. He needed to talk about this before things went any further.

“What do you mean by no need?” he asked curiously, because he couldn’t possibly understand why Yuri was so nonchalant about this topic.

Yuri seemed a little reluctant to pull back but he did and Otabek was thankful for it. This was too important to mess up in any way.

“You said a while ago that you get tested regularly and you said earlier that you’re clean. That’s the truth, right?” Yuri asked and there was absolutely no sign of judgement or annoyance in his voice. Otabek had already feared that he ruined the mood. In response, Otabek nodded and said, “yes.”

“Well, I’ve always used protection when I, you know, did stuff with someone. I’ve even once walked out on a guy because he refused to put a condom on, and since I’ve never let anyone come near me, you’ve got nothing to worry about from my side,” Yuri explained.

Otabek looked at him for a moment while Yuri was clearly waiting for a response from him. He thought about what Yuri said and ultimately decided that he was ok with this. Yuri wouldn’t lie to him, least of all about such important things as this.

“How do you want to do this?” Otabek then asked, and the grin spreading across Yuri’s face was all it took for him to lose his last bit of willpower.

He angled his knees again, pushing Yuri further into his lap, and lashed forward, sucking on Yuri’s nipple. Otabek’s hands were stroking up and down Yuri’s sides, the shudder Yuri’s body couldn’t shake evident under his palms.

“Like this,” Yuri breathed out, his voice hoarse.

Otabek felt his cock twitch at the sound of Yuri’s voice before he grabbed Yuri gently by his ass and then lifted him up to push him backwards, his golden hair pooling around his head like a halo when he lay flat on his back underneath Otabek, who towered over him. If Yuri was surprised at the change of position, he didn’t make it obvious.

Leaning down to kiss Yuri again, Otabek put everything he had into that kiss. He teased and licked, Yuri slowly but surely coming undone. “First things first,” Otabek said hoarsely, before he started to move down Yuri’s torso.

Otabek was kneeling between Yuri’s legs, his cock demanding attention but his mind had other plans. His tongue slowly made its way down, making quick stops at Yuri’s beautiful throat, his gorgeous collarbones where blue and purple marks were starting to take shape, his amazingly round nipples and the depth of his bellybutton. Otabek’s hands were squeezing Yuri’s smooth skin everywhere they could reach.

There was no hesitation when Otabek finally reached his destination. He wrapped a hand around Yuri’s hard dick and dragged his tongue in one long motion from the base to the tip, immediately encircling the tip with his swollen lips. The sounds that escaped Yuri’s throat were dizzying. Yuri’s back arched up when Otabek swallowed him whole.

“Fuck,” Yuri choked out, hands fisting the bedsheets desperately.

Otabek hadn’t done this in a while but it was like riding a bike, at least with the right person, something he just didn’t forget how to do. The only difference now was that he actually enjoyed doing it while it had always been more of a chore with someone else before, but with Yuri, Otabek wanted to do it, bring him pleasure and watch him lose control.

He licked up Yuri’s flushed cock a few more times and let his tongue slide around the slick tip where he greedily sucked the pre-cum away. Otabek noticed how Yuri’s breathing got heavy and shallow, a sign that he was getting close but he didn’t want this to end just end.

Pushing Yuri’s legs further apart, Otabek grabbed a pillow from behind him and urged Yuri to raise his hips, which the blonde did enthusiastically.

“You still want me to do this?” Otabek asked because he couldn’t help himself. He wanted this to be good for Yuri.

“Yes,” Yuri breathed out, “please, Beka.”

Yuri was needy and Otabek couldn’t really blame him. He was too, but he wouldn’t risk hurting Yuri by going too far too fast.

The moment Otabek’s lips touched Yuri’s entrance, Yuri automatically clenched.

“Please tell me if you want me to stop,” Otabek urged Yuri then, and he waited for him to nod that he understood before he went back down.

A tiny part of him was still so incredibly overwhelmed by the entire situation and especially how they had gotten there, but the bigger part of Otabek was consumed with lust at that point. There was nothing else besides him and Yuri.

Otabek’s tongue was doing lazy circles around Yuri’s entrance, sucking occasionally at the sensitive skin and licking around the tight hole that was hard to imagine would stretch wide enough for Otabek’s fingers, let alone for his cock, but Yuri had said he wanted this and unless Yuri’s asked him to stop, he would keep going.

The moment he curled his tongue and tried to gently push inside, Otabek noticed that Yuri held his breath. He reached a hand up and rested it on Yuri’s stomach. “Breathe, Yura,” he said, waiting for him to exhale.

Yuri visibly swallowed and then exhaled deeply.

“Are you okay?” Otabek asked. As much as he was enjoying this, he couldn’t stop worrying.

“Yes,” Yuri said, his breath coming a little more evenly now. “Don’t stop,” he added quickly, and Otabek followed his wishes.

Otabek kept kissing and licking around Yuri’s entrance, and Yuri seemed to visibly relax more and more, getting used to the new sensations he was no doubt experiencing.

Once he had done all he could with his mouth and tongue, Otabek reached out for the lube Yuri had retrieved from the nightstand earlier. He squirted some on his fingers, rubbing them against each other to warm up the cool substance.

Yuri flinched briefly when Otabek’s lube-coated finger touched the rim of his entrance but he relaxed just as quickly. Otabek’s other hand reached up and grabbed Yuri’s from the sheets, entwining their fingers, giving Yuri a sign that he was there and he would stop immediately if Yuri so much as looked at him with anything other than need and lust in his eyes.

“Keep breathing,” Otabek told him before he pressed a finger against Yuri’s entrance, carefully bending it to press the tip in.

Yuri’s breath hitched but he moaned in pleasure a second later. Otabek started plastering kisses along the insides of Yuri’s thighs to try to distract him a little from how uncomfortable his finger’s intrusion must have been, but Yuri pushed down on his finger, silently asking for more.

Otabek thrust his finger in and out a few times, surprised at how easy it was. Yuri had obviously not been lying when he said that he was used to this. Otabek added another finger soon while his mouth paid some more attention to Yuri’s leaking cock, sucking it hard. The sensation of his fingers inside Yuri and his lips around Yuri’s dick was coaxing hauntingly beautiful sounds out Yuri. They were addictive and Otabek wanted to hear more.

“Another one?” he asked breathlessly and Yuri clenched around his fingers in response.

Otabek happily took that as a yes and pushed a third finger inside Yuri’s tight hole. Yuri’s body was trembling with ecstasy, his hand squeezed Otabek’s tightly, probably in an attempt to ground himself a little.

“Yura,” Otabek said, “look at me.”

Yuri did look at him through half-lidded eyes, gaze hazy and clouded. He was a mess already, an absolutely gorgeous mess.

“I’m ready,” he choked out, “I’m ready.”

Otabek removed his fingers and mouth from Yuri which prompted the blonde to whine in return. Leaving another trail of wet kisses on his way up, Otabek pushed his mouth on Yuri’s as soon as they were level again.

Yuri then immediately wrapped his legs around Otabek, pressing their equally leaking dicks together, and Otabek couldn’t help but move his hips to get more friction. He had happily neglected himself for Yuri but the contact of their skin now demanded more. Otabek wanted more.

“You still want to do this sitting up?” Otabek asked, mainly to stop himself from taking Yuri right there. This wasn’t about him, it was about Yuri and he would do whatever Yuri wanted.

“Yes,” Yuri breathed out and Otabek lifted him up into a sitting position.

Otabek scooted backwards until his back hit the headboard, all the while seeing Yuri stare at him, looking him up and down hungrily. His eyes narrowed when Yuri slowly crawled forward on all fours, his eyes glued to Otabek’s. Yuri licked his lips seductively and Otabek seriously thought that was all it would take for him to come, but Yuri was back in his lap before it could get that far.

Yuri crashed their lips together again, he bit and sucked, putting gasoline on that fire that was Otabek’s already burning need to feel more of Yuri.

Pulling his legs closer with Yuri in his lap, Otabek wrapped his arm around Yuri’s waist and this time he went straight to Yuri’s ass, burying his hand in the crevasse between his butt cheeks. He pressed two fingers inside Yuri’s entrance and Yuri immediately growled. It sounded so needy and primal, it was something Otabek hadn’t heard from him before, but it turned him on just as much as everything else about Yuri did.

Yuri pushed himself down on his fingers. He threw his head back and Otabek immediately attacked Yuri’s hard nipples, nibbling at the sensitive flash, sending a shiver through Yuri’s and his own body.

“Enough,” Yuri eventually said. “I want _you_ , Beka.”

As soon as he said that, Yuri grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted some on Otabek’s cock. He tossed the bottle aside and stroked Otabek’s dick a handful of times fast, which made Otabek throw his own head back against the headboard. Yuri’s lips immediately went to his throat, licking away the sweat that was starting to cover Otabek’s skin.

When Yuri grabbed Otabek’s wrist to pull his fingers out of his ass, Otabek’s mind was suddenly as clear as it could be. This was really happening. He was about to actually sleep with his best friend. Otabek could still stop this, so could Yuri, but one look into Yuri’s eyes told him that neither one of them planned on doing that.

Otabek straightened out his legs to hand over every last bit of control to Yuri. This was entirely up to him.

Yuri was on his knees, straddling Otabek’s hips, and he positioned himself just above Otabek’s achingly hard cock. He pressed their foreheads together, his eyes closed, when he stopped moving all together for a few moments.

“Yura, what’s wrong?” Otabek asked anxiously. “Do you want to stop?”

He saw Yuri smiling, his hands stroking his hair at the back of his head. “No,” Yuri said firmly but affectionately when he opened his eyes to look at Otabek, who was absent-mindedly stroking the soft skin on Yuri’s waist.

"I’m just realising now how far gone I already am when it comes to you," Yuri said, and Otabek wasn’t quite sure what he was getting at.

“What do you mean?” he asked in return, still gently stroking Yuri’s hips.

Yuri pressed a brief kiss to Otabek’s lips before he replied. “I mean that… You’ve already taken up permanent residence in my head. I think about you constantly and doing this with you now will only make it worse,” he said and Otabek pulled back a little, afraid that Yuri suddenly thought all of this was a mistake. “I’m drowning in you, Beka, and I don’t want it to stop.”

With that Yuri lowered himself on Otabek’s cock with any warning. It was just the tip but it was overwhelming. Yuri held on to Otabek’s shoulders for dear life, while Otabek pressed his face against Yuri’s neck.

Otabek tried his best to stay still, leave it up to Yuri if or when he wanted to move, but Yuri didn’t wait long. He gradually lowered himself down inch by inch and before long Otabek’s cock was buried inside Yuri completely.

“Are you ok, Yura?” Otabek had to ask again and Yuri quickly replied with a simple, “yeah.”

Yuri slowly started to sway his lips forward and backward, without lifting himself up, but even that was enough to set Otabek’s mind spinning. Yuri was tight and hot, and surrounded him completely. It felt like Yuri’s skin, his smell, his voice, was all his brain was able to process.

Eventually Yuri started to lift himself up, cautiously and without any hurry, but even the tiniest of movements sent one shudder after the other through Otabek’s entire body. Yuri moved faster every time he pushed himself back down on Otabek’s cock and Otabek was desperate for more.

He bit down on one of the purple marks he had left on Yuri’s collar bone before, and Yuri hissed out in pain at that, tugging at Otabek’s short hair, but almost immediately he spat out, “more.”

Surprised but not reluctant, Otabek kissed along the front of Yuri’s shoulders until he reached a green-ish mark and caught the soft skin between his teeth. Yuri hissed again but his hips sped up, thrusting himself down on Otabek’s cock faster and faster.

The sounds their colliding skin made whenever Yuri pushed down was obscene, but music to Otabek’s ears at the same time. There was so much to take in from Yuri’s knees pressing into his hips, Yuri’s sweat-covered chest rubbing against his, Yuri’s own needy cock trapped between their chests, Yuri’s hair getting slick and damp, Yuri’s hot ass clenched around his dick, Yuri’s shaky breath in his ear and just the delicious smell of sex filling the room.

“Lean back,” Otabek whispered when he recognised that familiar feeling of pleasure pooling in his stomach with every powerful thrust Yuri gifted him with.

Yuri did as he was asked, his hands now steadying him on Otabek’s thighs. Otabek had perfect access to Yuri’s cock this way and greedily started stroking. Seeing Yuri like this, his back arched backward, his hair falling down in messy strands, his throat so deliciously inviting and his eyes pressed shut, was a sight Otabek was committing to his memory immediately. Yuri should not have been allowed to look this damn attractive.

Otabek could hear Yuri’s breath speed up, telling him that Yuri must be close as well. It didn’t take long then for Yuri to be carried away by a wave of pleasure rushing through him. He came all over Otabek’s hand and their chests with one of the deepest moans Otabek had ever heard. It was hard to believe that a sound so sexual could come out of someone as angelic looking as Yuri, but it was incredibly sexy. Otabek kept stroking Yuri’s cock through every last drop that he released, while he had a hard time concentrating on much else than Yuri’s hole clenching around his own cock.

Everything was suddenly too hot, too tight and just too much. Otabek was overwhelmed when his orgasm hit him much more intensely than he had ever experienced before. Yuri kept swaying his hips forward and backward until Otabek came off his own wave of pleasure.

Once they had both managed to regulate their breathing again, and Yuri had removed himself completely from Otabek’s softening cock, Yuri pressed a closed-mouth kiss to Otabek’s lips before he let himself fall onto his back on the soft mattress.

“You ok?” Otabek asked, his voice coarse and still filled with lust.

“Yeah,” Yuri said and then lazily raised an arm, waving at Otabek. “Come here.”

Otabek wiped his hands on the bedsheets and then willed his body to Yuri’s side.

Yuri turned on his side, facing Otabek and pulling him close for another, deeper kiss.

“I told you it was going to be incredible,” Yuri then suddenly laughed out loud, gently pushing Otabek on his back by his shoulder. He pressed a small kiss on Otabek’s nose and rested his hand on Otabek’s chest. “It was incredible, wasn’t it?” he asked, a slight tinge of panic in his voice.

“Fuck yes,” Otabek huffed out immediately, pulling Yuri in but before he could kiss the blonde, he interrupted him. “Language, Beka,” Yuri said, laughing again and then finally giving in.

This kiss then was slow but urgent, tender but harsh. It was full of things both of them felt but couldn’t yet bring themselves to say.

* * *  

Once their bodies regained some strength, Otabek and Yuri forced themselves to get showered and dressed. They spent another couple of hours cuddled up on the couch, Ginger right by Yuri’s side as if she was telling him that she wasn’t ready for him to leave yet either.

The taxi ride to the airport was quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Otabek had his arm around Yuri’s shoulder and Yuri had automatically inched closer, curling himself comfortably into Otabek’s chest. There were so many things they could have said but only a few of them actually made it to the surface, once they got to the airport and stood in front of the security area that Yuri would have to step through shortly.

Their hands were holding on tightly by each other’s hips, Yuri’s imminent departure back to St. Petersburg hanging over them like a rain cloud about to burst open.

“Sorry about the sheets,” Yuri eventually mumbled. Otabek figured it was supposed to be funny to lift the mood, but even Yuri only managed one corner of his mouth to go up.

“That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” Otabek couldn’t help but ask then, his own lame attempt at cheering them both up. Yuri’s smile grew a tiny little bit but it was still far from what Otabek wanted to see on his face. “Those sheets will be back on my bed the next time you’re here,” he then said and Yuri immediately flung his arms around his neck, burying his face in his neck.

“We can do this, right?” Yuri asked, his voice muffled by Otabek’s scarf.

Otabek tightened his grip on Yuri, holding him close. “We’re definitely going to try,” Otabek said a lot more confidently than he really felt.

As Yuri pulled back a little, Otabek put his hands on the sides of his face and pulled him in for a kiss, a kiss that held a million unspoken promises from both of them.

“I need to go,” Yuri choked out, tears starting to slowly make their way down his cheeks. Otabek immediately brushed them away with his thumbs, barely holding back his own tears.

This was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

Otabek pulled Yuri in again, pressing his lips against Yuri’s, desperately trying to prove that he will do anything he can to make this work. He refused to let it end before it actually began, before they had a chance to really figure out what they were to each other now.

“You’ll miss your flight if you don’t go, Yura,” Otabek said, even though he didn’t want to see Yuri leave.

Yuri kissed him again. He squeezed Otabek’s hands with the same intensity his lips moved against Otabek’s mouth, like he wasn’t ready to leave yet.

Otabek pressed a short kiss to Yuri’s forehead before Yuri turned around and walked away, holding on to Otabek’s hand until he absolutely had to let go.

“Six and a half weeks, Yura,” Otabek called after him, and Yuri turned around, smiling sadly.

“Six and a half weeks,” he said, and Otabek heard him even despite the distance.

With one last look over his shoulder, Yuri scanned his ticket to go through the gates towards security, and Otabek was left standing there on his own, wondering what they had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! This story is doooone... and I gotta admit I'm a little sad about that. Haha! Otabek's friends are so much fun to write. ;)
> 
> The next part of the series will be a one-shot (I think...) that shows how Otabek and Yuri are coping with the distance between them after finally getting together (and we'll find out how things are between Otabek, Ezra and Asel). The part after that (definitely a multi-chapter story) will focus on Yuri and his trip to Seoul to see Otabek compete at Four Continents. But please be warned, I will make Otabek and Yuri suffer... It can't be German cake, fake tequila and cats all the time. ;)
> 
> If you feel the need to talk some more Otayuri and Otabek's ridiculous friends, find me on tuuuumblr @thesameoldfairytale.
> 
> Last but not least, if you've stuck with this story and my ever-changing mess of a mind, thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and writing comments! I hope you guys enjoyed the final chapter! x


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